[michaelj1981]

well first below my question is the story that kinda goes with this. But my questions are..

Lately i've been missing where i have come from, with no clue on how to go back. I would like to go back. I dont feel like i fit in this world. I feel lost and alittle hopeless. I miss staring off into the vast of light and nothingess, and even looking down on the world. More so i miss the connection i had with that light. Which was wonderful. IT made me feel whole now i feel incomplete. not whole. I think that light was my soul mate per say, cuz when im single i focas on that area of my life and i feel happy yet i need a physical companion. but when i was there it was all i needed. Never slept, never ate, never had a bat thought, didn't worry about all the issues i have in this world, miss the very simplicity of it all. Since i was a little boy i know i have been guided but at the same time confusion sets in. I pray my father above , i pray my brother above, i pray the spirit above i pray that all helps me now. let me come home. i came in this world thru a thought, i want to leave as a thought. lol thanks in advance for any help. I just feel alone and miss home being there.



So i have had a memory and it was before my first incarnation in this world.

I came into existence in a place that was of pure light and was infinite. There was no world, there was no universe but pure light. When i came into existence there was a stairway and a door that was all. The first thought i remember having is I AM then I am aware I exist. I remember sitting there all alone and then i thought of eternity as a day. Then i remember a man came out behind the door and i was trying to understand who he was, then as moments went by i had the concept of father. My body wasn't like here, I had a form, but the form couldn't feel, never slept, never ate, didn't even have those ideas or needs nor desires. Time wasn't even a concept there was no night nor day, there was no bad even no concept of that either. To me it was my bliss. One moment my father came out and the first time i ever saw darkness i was scared cuz i didn't know and my father brought me down to the end of the stairs and had me raise my hand with him. The this vast ocean of nothingness exploded like a firework but it was like a atomic . It was the most amazing thing i have ever seen to date. Then he brought me back up to the stairs where is at some more by the time we went to the top of the stairs it was light again. Waiting alone in this vast light. Then out of no where this world appeared and had no idea it was. I remember knockin on the door telling my father that it was there. Then He went into the world and came back out. Then he brought out this boy who sat with me, who i remember was so friendly he had these jewels on him i sat on the right he sat on my left. I asked him to let me try them on i remember admiring them, then i thought do i get something as my father stood there by the door. then my father went behind the door again, WHICH i was never able to go, i always wonder what was beyond it. Anyways. The boy wanted to sit where i was sitting so i remember sitting on the left and he sat on the right. Till my father came out and told us to get back in our spots. Then he went back behind the door. I remember the boy came into the world that we were told not go to into. he tried to get me to go with him and i told him now, My connection to my fathers request were strong lol. Anyways awhile later my father came out and the boy was in the world. my father came and got him. never saw the boy again. I wanted to go into the world so bad to c it. Then i started getting concepts and ideas from the world. there was a couple times where a couple people came up to see my father. One man even came up and i had the concept of uncle. but when came up he kneed before me like anyone but my father did. I remember sitting dangling my feet on the bottom stairs into the world wishing to come in. I kept asking my father to let me he kept saying no now isn't the moment. I remember he doing that a couple times, then one time he came out of the world and he was upset that the people were not being good. I felt his heart ach and hurt me . Fiirst we never spoke we talked thru thought and emotions. ANyways he went back behind the door and i sat there dangling my feet debating should i go in the world and tell them to be good cuz my father is hurting. But i didn't then i saw this man appear floating on nothing close to me telling me to come down and he will show me the world. I said no my father wouldn't let me and i would have to ask him and i went up and asked again. he said now isn't the moment. I went back and that man kept tempting me to do it and i kept saying no. Then a concept came i can go and intrudce myself and tell them to be good and come back and he would never now and i am still danging my feet then i remember being born. I dont remember coming into the world by jumping cuz i was afraid of heights. Then i was born in this world so i would love it if someone helped me understand what this is what this means . nor who i am. This isn't a joke, nor am i claiming to be something great nor small. I just am who i am thats how i always felt.