God knows all. The deepest crevices of your Heart, and Mind, God knows all. I know God in my own personal way, and I know that God wants us to have concrete faith. Yes you love him, and he knows that you do, but he gave you this life for a reason, live it full, and free, and know that one day you will return to the Light. We all come from the Light, and we all shall return, even those who are surrounded by darkness, and evil intentions. God never forsakes you, and never leaves you, he is always here, whether you see it or not, even people who do not believe in God, he does not leave them, because one day they will open up, and receive his Love.