Quote:
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Originally Posted by eezi-ulgen
I can't seem to function well in this world of so called civilization...
There seems to be no place in it that I seem to fit or belong 100%...
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Yeah, well, it gets messy and I was getting all tangled up here in my mind thinking about it all …
The
‘lost soul syndrome’ in the world of so-called civilization … I used to feel it too and sometimes becoming so conflicted was driving me up the wall … just getting so angry at life/ways others around me thought was normal, when it for me was at times ‘surreal’ and incomprehensible.
There is a Finnish Saami bloke I sometimes meet in town. He had/has such social anxiety - he like I - both ‘escaped’ our respective psychological ‘misfitism’ by integrating into a ‘First Nations’ group.
And yes, with the NDE or ‘shamanic death’ one experiences our spiritual HOME.
But in this world integrating into that ‘tribe’ was “homecoming” to me.
So, I guess you and I have been in a similar ‘boat’.
Was thinking about it yesterday and how I really should take the train and visit them, pay my respects. Then coming home from the shops, there were a lot of workmen around our housing and I bumped into one of them finishing his work, so of course you say hello and how is it going ... which led to us having quite a long conversation.
A First Nations guy.
I’m still feeling the ‘after-effects’ of our encounter & I cannot really explain the difference, but once again, I was reminded how artificial we normally are in our 'civilized world' social interactions …
Neither of us had any colour/race barrier, we were just naturally psychologically totally open to one another, naturally trusting, sharing and caring.
Yet I didn’t have to
act polite; I didn’t need to
be open; I didn’t need to
be caring ….
all of that was already given - already sorted - naturally present like air.
I mean - one cannot congratulate one’s self about one’s mental openness, if it already is an unconditionally open situation where that “openness” isn’t “mine”.
However, turned out his family ‘belonged’ to the same group I had integrated/assimilated into, only they had moved away quite some time before I moved there.
Funny dat. One minute I was thinking about really needing to meet them and the next minute I bumped into one of them.
Good timing, and that “timing” wasn’t “mine” either.
Although yesterday I was delayed and went to do my weekly shopping later than I normally do and had (‘sniffing the air’) wondered if there was any significance to that delay.
Well – Spirit always works with “Swiss-Clock” accuracy.