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Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
Totally agree!!
Even though I like to be alone as well,
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Good post. Good points. Genuine and honest. I have a suspicion that people who say it's great being alone aren't that one dimensional IRL, and there are reasons behind it, because I know my lonesomeness isn't only because I like it like that, but also due to an array of things that make me incompatible with intimacy or personal closeness in general. Over the years and with age I just kinda resigned to the degree that I can no longer picture myself realistically in close relationships.
The way I look at is, if you isolate a baby - give it everything such as feed and toys and so forth, but no affection - that kid isn't going fare as well as a regular kid in an affectionate loving family. It's not like we get to a certain age and suddenly that doesn't apply anymore. We aren't built for lonesome lives. Sure we survive in lonesome lives and can be happy, but it's sub-optimal.
On a simple crude level, it would've been great if there was someone around to change the dressing on my back, but there isn't, so after the first few days when the doctor's dressing was off, the wound was exposed and unprotected. That crude layer implies the emotional level because no one cares enough to check on my day to day, and if I can't manage it on my own, it doesn't happen. Things are always better if you have a helping hand, like a team-mate, and that's how humans have always thrived. That physical, practical level has deeper psycho-emotional underpinnings, and I know my various personal disfunctions bring about the physical difficulty, let alone the benefits of closeness and intimacy.
I do not believe the 'aloneness is wonderful' rhetoric - because reality is more like how you gotta take the good with the bad. I like being on my own, but that doesn't mean it's 'all good'. Your post looks realistically at what's behind it, the path that led to this, the personal obstacles and deeper implications - and that is entirely credible and relatable.