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i got a real dose of reality when I realized they were just reflecting back on the way I had treated them other times lol...
anyway i find it 'good' now to try to learn to listen when people are saying 'no'... that is something I never could do.... and it also helps me to actually listen like that because then I don't have to feel so 'obligated' to act like males are supposed to and chase around after people I'm supposed to want lol...
I suppose if anyone ever really wanted me they would just come out and say so, but, I'm not really expecting anything like that as mean as I always am to everyone around me sigh....
besides afaik noone is allowed to want me. sigh.
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