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In my life, I do feel I'm disconnected from what truly uplifts me. But not entirely, there are moments where I sense this potential. When I meet evil in my dreams, I have the sense that it's more outside of me than within me (even though thinking in terms of "within" and "without" is probably misleading). But there is something strangely infectious about evil, as you watch it, it can easily drag you down somehow. When this happens, you don't feel the same person anymore (you may try to invoke love and positivity, but it's hard, because you loose connection to those). It's a bit like sinking into quicksand, quite scary. Fortunately, what I describe is rare, but it does worry me. That's also why I avoid certain music, movies and series.
I do think I have to try harder to connect to whatever uplifts me. I will start by avoiding the news for a while.
PS In the past, I had these negative dreams more frequently, and my ritual when waking up from such a dream was to listen to Bach's Goldberg Variations, it was the best way (and maybe the only thing I knew that really worked for me) to restore a sense of peace and normality.
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