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Originally Posted by Clio_86
I live in a very sex-positive city (not Toronto as my profile says!) and I asked one of my friends this summer if he knows anyone in our city who are in serious committed relationships. He said yes, but all of these relationships are open poly ones. I also have a couple female friends here in my city and they multi-date many people and don't expect a monogamous relationship from a guy.
I feel like I don't really match the vibe of my city when it comes to dating, so I just stopped unless someone pursues me. It's too exhausting.
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It all is a bit odd, isn't it?
Men seem to be so into sex-only while in a way you'd expect that more of women considering our history and where we're coming from.
I do know many people still need to work out sexual issues because of this. Lots of damage concerning sexuality and the chakras that store this. Thousands of years of abuse, rape, oppression etc. etc.
That left a huge void, empty space, in the belly area of women as we energetically withdrew from there to survive. This is our collective wound as women, and healing is to be able to get back there as it's where our true inner strength resides.
For men, if memory serves the sexual fixation is related to what you can call an empty heart. Lack of love, trouble with making a heartfelt real connection etc. The heart is the male's collective wound. Not being able to get into the Heart that is.
And if you take love out of the equation when a man connects with a woman, what's left? Nothing much except for sex. Which is a comfort-zone as men have always been able to sexually do and take whatever pleased them. Involvement of the heart, feelings and emotions, weren't required for this. Not even when it came to bedding his own spouse. Often sexual relations between husband and wife was nothing but rape of the woman. It all evolved around the pleasure of the man, which he was allowed to take whenever he felt like it.
In some African countries women were/are even circumcised completely lest they feel a bit of pleasure.
This imbalance, ability and rightfully taking from women, abusing them and not caring etc. is still very active in the collective of both genders.
Since we women have begun to take our power back, to heal our own collective wound, and reach a certain level with that (not nearly where we're supposed to be though) we now have some men beginning to work on their wound, without even knowing it I think.
As far as I know there are still few men that think, "OK let's do a workshop to heal this!" which is what women do more and more.
Academies & schools for the feminine are coming up by the dozens over here, so women are consciously and actively working on it.
The masculine always lags behind a bit. That's not a dig, it's just a simple fact of life.
So I think many women come across this imbalance now in dating where we as women are further in our healing and more ready for the new form of relationships while men are mostly still stuck in their wound. It seems they latch on to what is familiar and safe: sex.
Women going along with that will not help. They will only step back into the feminine wound of being used for sex, and it will do nothing to make men think and change. It will only give the unspoken message that it's okay to treat women like that, and that way nothing will change.
Hmmm... food for thought.
Rori Raye, dating & relationship coach, teaches women how to be truly feminine, to embrace this and to keep doing this. If you can, and mind you, this is not an act, it is an actual shift within, you feel amazing! And the icing on the cake of being like that: it does stir men up to be different too. You see them automatically shift into their own heart and empowered masculine. It helps men to get into their heart and to dare to be vulnerable too.
In essence that means
we control this, we can help this along IF we ourselves learn to be truly empowered feminine.
I was there in my last relationship so I can say from experience that it does work. And that's not why you should do it, you should because it feels incredible!!
Unfortunately our still masculine-based society doesn't support it much so it's also very easy to lose touch with that again, hihi. But it can be done!