[RedEmbers]

Life after abuse:
Can anyone shed some light on a realistic approach to rebuilding life after abuse? I realise now that I used to think I was recovering after a "normal" unhappy marriage yet now I have come to learn and accept that there was nothing "normal" about my separation

I am a few years post separation and just about to sign the official papers and it has taken so much of my life force from me.

Recently, I have turned my attention in towards healing and sealing up those holes that trauma left in my soul which made me attract and be attracted to people who use my trauma to control and abuse me.

I keep falling into this habit of comparing the journey of other people and feeling that I really "should" be further along. The truth is that my functioning as an adult has been compromised.

There are plenty of things which I can do quite well - however my consistency of doing them is compromised.

So I find myself in this twilight zone - having gained quite some space between myself and abusive people and I feel scared to now be alone with myself and how much I am struggle to function like other adults my age which makes me wonder if I am much further away from my hopes for self actualisation then I would have desired to be.