[lostsoul13]

While being alone has me settling boundaries with aloofness and self centred behaviour- narcissistic traits—- my appearance, my fantasies- usually in the context of illusions- dreams… I hold doors for people, give my seat to the elderly but it just all goes to self importance…it’s superficial it it’s all I have- I’m caring for my children and flame—- they are the only ones that bring it out but I’m afraid that caring is on the assumption that I ‘don’t want you to take pain’ but I know it’s going to happen- unless I’m a jumper or teleportation happens I can’t save them from it—-this surfaces a whole lot of other problems- i truest care about them but the separation is final—- I know we are together some where but I can’t seem to find any forms of it apart from the way they were manifested: which keeps me caring and loving them—- as they made an attempt to be there for me and not leaving me in loneliness ‘ just like the self doest… I truest attempt to be there for the self/ and it’s the relationship I have with the self(or wanting a relationship with the self—- I don’t want my narcissistic behaviour to get in the way but I see it in them… how being a singularity is making us HAVING to act a certain way with others -because there’s nothing we can do, we are helpless- reincarnation is the true narcissistic…