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I know I say this every time and I probably sound like a broken record here to everyone but... Are you in therapy? You have a lot of psychological distress and they're trained as doctors of the mind to help heal exactly that. Sometimes the spirit doesn't follow when the brain isn't right. That can also mean sometimes the chemicals in the brain being wrong and needing medication, that said I vaguely remember having possibly said that to you before.
I've met many spiritual friends who say they are gonna die because they're in such a bad place but they don't and the truth is this particular illness is not in the body. I don't mean to be flippant, I'm not sure if you're describing an actual diagnosed physical illness, because if not then it sounds a lot like you're living in a constant state of panic attacks to me, which feels like you're going to die. That panic is not good for your body anyway, it could damage it if you don't get it under control, in my case I checked myself into the hospital one time because this happened to me, and I came out with a prescription of benzodiazepineans and anti-psychotics. I never slept so good as I did that night after probably like a year of torture.
You're gonna be okay. I've seen a fair few people pass through this forum the last couple of years experiencing the throes of such a horrid psychological/spiritual state, and I can empathise as someone who's out the other end of it myself now. I wish there was something I could do but it's for each person to find that light at the end of the tunnel for themselves.
Here is also a suggestion, drop the thoughts of evil. What you're feeling to me seems a direct result of those feelings, you've kind of internalised it and your body is shutting down as a result.
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