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I do not feel able to comment on your specific situation. But my understanding is that yes, thoughts and feelings are the same in other realms (at least those realms closest to the Earth plane). If we put out strong thoughts and feelings about someone who has died then that person will probably be aware of it, especially if their death is recent.
The force of such thoughts and feelings can supposedly hold someone back from their natural progression. So we are advised to wish them well and let them go. Presumably when a person in spirit has progressed beyond a certain point then they are beyond the reach of our thoughts and feelings. The lives of those remaining on the Earth plane are no longer of concern.
An exception to the above could be when two people are in the same soul group, incarnating together in differing roles. If one is out of incarnation while the other is on Earth, then the one out of incarnation may act as a guide, thus maintaining a connection. A good book on this is Eyes of an Angel by Paul Elder.
Peace
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