[Lynn]

Hello

When I honestly thought my kids would be coming home to my dead body. It was the day that I made the best change in my life.

I spent 33 years with my abusive EX, while your going to go OK why ??? there is always a reason that has to unfold for some over time. I do not regret that time, nor do I wish it on anyone to experience. For me it was the path that lead me to whom I am today and whom I am with today.

I was on Skype with my now husband, Heart, and the EX was stoned and came home. He dragged me into the garage and well did what he will with me, I had down screened the Skype. I don't know why I left the Skype open, but for some reason this time I had a greater fear around me about the EX. I felt that I might not survive this time for some reason.

He did what he did then went out again. I came back to the Skype battered but alive....and I had to pull it together before my kids got home from school. This is where Heart and I came to be a couple. He asked me how much more of this I could take and how the kids could live in this situation. I was honest I had not worked in forever, I had no control over the house or finances, and the EX's family was loaded. He would fight for the kids.

I made the "joke" that I would be a poor single Mom (if I got the kids as the EX would pay the mental health card of me "talking to dead people". Who would I turn to ? How would I support things. I said to Heart, marry me and come to Canada to live with me and the kids, and we can get out. I did not mean it seriously on any level. I was trying to re group myself.

Heart said talk to the kids, see if they like the idea of me joining the family, and yes I will marry you. I was stunned. This is something we had never considered or even talked about. We were good friends both in rotten relationships.

Well I had the longest 3 months of my life getting out. Selling a house, avoiding the EX keeping the peace. But I got out, we got out. Looking back I do wonder how, I did it all. The EX slept in the same bed to the day before I left, with the kids in tow. He honestly though I would change my mind, in fear of not being able to do it alone.

It was 5 months that I was LOL a "Single Mom" before Heart could join us. That was almost 5 years ago now. Time flies.

For any person and I say "person" as men too are abused (Heart was by his EX) in a relationship both physically and verbally, do what you can to get out and get out safely.

Do not stay the course, its not worth it. Now why did I stay? I grew in that relationship as odd as that might well seem. I had freedoms to do so many things no one would ever do or maybe want to do. Yes I was abused, but I was able to step out of the body part of me to survive that. I had 3 kids late in life....when we were told we could have none....at 19 and 20 years of age.

I had a path to walk and the Universe had my back with its plan. I so feel that and honor that.

May the EX rot in well you know where....but not by my hand. Trust me I thought of going there. There is no way to "How to Get Away with Murder" in the real world.

Lynn