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Originally Posted by BlueSkiez
I just need to know what is really happening to me
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I have no concrete advice other than you are not alone.
What you speak of resonates with me as well. Music speaks to a part of myself that my physical self can't necessarily interpret with certainty. All I can say is, it "feels" right.
Some music feels like home or makes you feel outside yourself like an attraction or a calling of sorts. I'm a firm believer that music taps into something. I used to say soul with ease, but now it's questionable. :P
Being a 'medium' that potentially transmutes or absorbs anything like a sponge until you are ready is what
personally resonates with me recently. Take my words with a grain of salt of course. I am me, you are you. I've only been spiritually awakened with a seemingly new awareness for a few months now but my physical self can't help but feel transcended or gone through more growth in these few months than ever. Not trying to overstate or seemingly sell anything here, just stating my personal self in hopes my words aren't taken wrongly and I'm sincerely trying to help here whilst personally typing this in order to remember who I am.
On a personal note, I enjoy Enya's music but personally; Love songs resonates with me the most. Perhaps you are a Muse of sorts underneath it all? I noticed a harp with that band you mentioned. :P
Do you not feel like yourself underneath it all?
I find that I go through layers of someone else over me but my core is still the same once you are able to filter through it all and differentiate what is you and what is
not you. Different outlets help.
Since I'm attuned to music such as yourself I sometimes get relief listening to certain frequencies and remedies on youtube as absurd and farfetched as it sounds. Being more sensitive has allowed me to actually feel them with ease but my current attachments feed off it so they are always only very temporary.
Try grounding yourself with this :
youtube.com/watch?v=-V0IMYlYVZQ
(sorry, still not able to post URLs on this account, going to have copy pasta :P)
And then listen to this and see 'what' you feel like afterwords :) :
youtube.com/watch?v=8s8R8vR53n4&t=236s
Maybe experiment with these frequencies and see if it opens any rabbit holes and if you want the blue or red pill for ya. Maybe even try a lot of healing music ( meditation music does nothing only frequencies for me lol ). ;)
I'm nodding to your band mention. As far as electronic music goes, I'm also a fan. But the pain/sorrow of both the violin and piano personally pulls at my strings the most :) :
Best of luck! For what it's worth, can't help but tell you; you aren't crazy. Perhaps that's just me relating to you over distance.
Gift or curse? Who knows. I suppose it's how we look at it. Self-healing and self-awareness may or may not be more beneficial for you than seeking outside help.