There are things I call ghosts because they sense like dead people.
Some float in the air, wandering what just happened to them. Some have sorrow over the fact they can no longer take care for their loved ones. We are sitting in the car on the highway. We aren't moving, there is a long queue of cars in front of us. I tell my friend there was an accident, people died. How do you know that ? He asks me. I point at the window into the air. Can't you see them ? They are right there floating in the air, and they don't look happy.
Some are suddenly there. I feel uncomfortable and can't get to sleep. I am starting to feel very uncomfortable like or I am not alone and something wants to do something bad to me. I go to the other empty guest bedroom next to mine. This room looks fine for a few secs. Then something follows me and comes right through the wall. It is black yet I can look right through it. It's cone shaped and spiraling like a small tornado. But I sense it's a being. It has no eyes yet I feel watched. I can't tell my mum, dad nor sister about this. What if they see nothing ? They'll say I am crazy.
I go to my own bedroom again and try to resume sleep but I can't. An unpleasant tickling sensation comes over me starting from my feet. Crawling upwards slowly. What is going on ? When the sensation reaches my neck I panic. Desperately I start saying/thinking the only prayer I know and vaguely remember. I say the first two words and suddenly I feel an intense shock. This thing has stopped. I think I scared it. I definitely scared it. I must continue. I continue the prayer and this thing leaves as it came.
Some I don't call ghosts.
At this point in my life I work at a biological farm. I sleep there at night in a caravan. One of my jobs is to lead the goats up the mountain so they can graze the open fields there. And to lead them downhill before nightfall. When I lead them upwards I usually walk behind. They know the way. In the middle of my path is a fence and behind it a grassland surrounded by woods. That is not where they go though. Before nightfall I go get them from the mountain. When I arrive they are already waiting by the fence for my arrival. They go downhill quickly, I need to step quickly to keep up. In the middle of my path I see the fence is open and they went to the grassland they shouldn't graze. Like a dog I circle them for at least half an hour trying to get them back on the path downhill. They are so stubborn, when I go to the left they go right and some take advantage of my occupation to graze in the woods. They do it on purpose. Stupid goats, why don't you listen !
That night I woke up in a feeling of choking, like I can't breathe. I look at my watch, it's about 2 in the morning. Weird. I don't think much of it so I fall back asleep. The following morning I feel a little weird, like or I've lost a few ounces. I open the door of the caravan and the sky looks beautiful. My friend comes towards me and asks me what I did with the goats. I am mystified what do you mean ? A goat died last night. He said. And so I tell him what happened. How they took of in the grassland they shouldn't go. I speculated some were even in the woods, maybe it ate a poisonous plant. He went back to tell the farmer my story. I went with him and sat at the table to eat as I usually do. We are in France but I don't speak very well french so he does all the telling. When I cross the grasslands back to my caravan I feel weird. Like I've lost a few ounces. I go in and shut the door. The feeling persists. I reopen the door and look into the blue sky. I feel abnormally satisfied and peaceful. I look and I see tiny balls you can look right through in the air. They are dividing into tinier balls spreading into an increasingly thinner layer covering the landscape. Stretching out into the horizon.
I believe we choose our own destiny, in this life and thereafter. The way I sense it, this demon that harassed me and made me sick, ( oops now I remember I didn't even share this story with you, anyways ) it knew perfectly well what it was doing. And it did it because my pain and suffering gave it pleasure. If it stopped doing that at this very moment it be no longer a demon. So no, I do not believe in divine punishment.
Maybe Jim was fragile and damaged. It's easy to speak, judge or even kick someone with a broken back to get up and walk. Yet instead of judging people for the choices they make. Maybe we should think about how we can build a society in which everybody feels accepted.
Last edited by _dagmar_ : 12-06-2018 at 11:24 PM.