|
I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. I have severe Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (aka Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel, Migraines.... A laundry list of problems that sound a lot like what you're going through. I've been sick since I was 13, and am now 30. I'm mostly bedridden, too.
I can really relate to everything you said because I have felt every one of those things. You could have taken the words right from my head, from my own life experience.
You're not alone in what you're going through. If I could give you a hug right now, I would.
I don't have all the answers, either. I'm still going through this journey, myself.
All I can tell you is to try to be patient with yourself. Also, be compassionate. Especially in times like this when it feels the worst, that's when it's most important to just try to relax, breathe deep, literally. Then be kind to yourself. Catch yourself when you're judging yourself, your situation or comparing your life to others or what you think it should be (which you shouldn't do, regardless of whether you're sick or not anyways). Nip those kinds of thoughts in the bud. It's understandable and only human to think such things, but if you allow them to continue, they just spiral and snowball out of control and take you no where good, to a place that is cruel and unfair to yourself.
So, try to work on having a more positive, loving, accepting relationship with yourself. Also, the suggestion about eating a clean simple diet, while it may or may not cure you, depending on the origin of your problems, it may at least bring some relief to digestive issues and help you feel a bit more energy.
I'm personally trying to work on these areas, myself. While I haven't mastered these things, and I'm by no means perfect at it, I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago, emotionally. The food thing, I'm trying to work on, but my mom has to do all the grocery shopping since I can't and it's been hard to get her totally on board with different things, such as the fact that I need to go gluten free. But I know that when I eat better, it makes some difference so I keep trying.
Also, I think it's important to make sure that you have a support system with at least a couple good friends who are understanding about your situation, who you can talk to and will be there when you're struggling. I know it's hard to find people like that when you're dealing with these kinds of health issues. It's hard to keep anyone around at all. But still, if none of your old friends will support you or accept you as you are, then you should move on and find people who will. We all deserve to be cared for for who we are, as we are, anyhow. Even if it's only one or two people, even if it's only on the internet, these connections are important. I've learned from experience how bad it is to allow yourself to become completely isolated, so make sure you have someone who you trust because it makes it at least a little more bearable if you don't have to carry everything on your own. That little bit can make a surprisingly huge difference.
My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find some peace within yourself and your situation. <3
|