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Had another thing come up, and since there's ppl here who've severed ties with their mother I wonder how they deal with this, or have even thought about it.
My mother is 74, and she totally relied on me to take care of her things if she'd pass away.
Since I wanted to sever ties completely, I told her to find someone else to take care of her things if that moment arrives.
Yesterday I found out that she is now involving my children in this, and my daughter was quite upset about it. She felt sorry for her grandmother having to worry about this sort of thing (making me feel guilty) and wasn't happy that she'd now have to do this with her brother while it is my job to do so.
I must admit I have been quite upset about this last night. As it is I don't want anything to do with my mother anymore, including that part, but I am not pleased she is now using her grandchildren for this.
A lot of mixed emotions for me, my daughter not even wondering why I severed ties, only feeling sorry for grandmother, not even thinking I must have had a very good reason for making this choice. And that it wasn't pleasant, otherwise I wouldn't have done it.
Anger towards my mother for involving my children, cos in a way she's now indirectly setting them up against me. I'm the bad person again for not doing this for my mother.
But where is the understanding for me making this choice, out of necessity for my own well-being?
So I severed the tie, or tried to, now it's back in my face. Or actually it feel more like being stabbed in the back.
How do you ppl deal with this part once you've severed ties with your mother? Cos at some point this will happen, they will pass away. I am by law responsible for this too, unless someone else does it, which to be honest I think is total bull. Why do I have to be responsible for someone who treats me badly just because she's a relative?
Would you still want to go to your mother's ceremony when she dies?
I myself haven't a clue, right now I say "no", but no way to tell how I will feel then.
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