The reality (in my eyes) is both harsh and a relief. What is happening to you has nothing to do with karma or past lives and there may not be any reason for it at all because life can be completely pointless, not to mention unfair and cruel. But at the same time that also means that you aren't being punished for anything. It's just bad luck I suppose. Some useless idiots who live like parasites and spend their entire lives causing misery to others may live up to a hundred years old, so ask yourself if karma exists why aren't they being punished, but why are you? Because there simply is no such thing as karma. But about the afterlife nothing can be said by any of us who haven't had a NDE yet. Many NDE's and afterlife stories share contradictions so it's pretty much impossible to know what happens after death.
That being said, I wish you the best dude.
For the king for the land for the mountains
for the green valleys where dragons fly
for the glory the power to win the black lord
I will search for the emerald sword