[jro5139]

I dislike these terms, runner and chaser, as well. I agree they sound very derogatory, I only use they for the sake of description.
And I don't like saying that he was the runner and I was the chaser, it's much more complicated than that. At first, we both chased, then when stuff finally happened, he sort of ran. Except we were in a situation where we had to interact with each other for 3 years, so we couldn't really run. I think if we could have, we both would have ran. At this point, we have moved past wanting to run away from each other and we are friends.

Nan948, thank you for your response, I think it will help other "chasers" and me.
Yes we are friends and we can't see each other right now due to his circumstances, but we both want to. He is married and because I haven't seen him in over a year, I cannot tell you want the state of his marriage is. Right now we communicate mostly by text message, and due to what he is going through it is becoming more sparse, it will be this way because of what he has to deal with and it seems right now like the separation is going to be a long one, due to this.
I am always honest with him and he knows everything I feel, because I tell him. So he knows that I would like more but he knows that I am trying to be his friend as well. He knows pretty much everything about me, he might be the only person that does. I tell him everything, even things I don't normally tell people like the spiritual stuff. He always accepts me and whatever crazy thing I say to him:) He has been the most accepting person I have ever met.

I also tell him that I miss him and love him but I try not to do it in a disparate way. I try not to vibe it out in a "I can't live without you" way but in a "I'm ok, but I still miss you way". It's not like I can't survive without him, I just WANT him to be in my life. I accept that he has his own free will though. I physically tell him this stuff, in the 3D and he seems to be ok with it.

I don't like to categorize us as the runner and chaser either, esp not now. Although there def was a time when things were like this.
I guess what I want to make sure is that when I send him a message it is me interacting with him bc he is my friend and not me chasing him and when to know the difference. So I try to send him messages when I want to tell him something or send him love in a 3D way, and when I feel like I just want validation that he's still there or I feel disparate, I try not to send that. Is that good? Is there anything else I'm missing?
Because I do not want to chase, but I still want to interact with my friend. Right now, due to his situation, it is getting harder on him to have to interact so I am being understanding and not bombarding him with messages. But it is hard on me to have to go long periods of time without physically talking to him and I try to be understanding if I send him a message and he doesn't answer. But sometimes it starts to make me go twin flame crazy:) I know this is a 3D problem and I need to work on this.

See this is why this is so helpful, I didn't really know that the telepathy could also be chasing, I was thinking it was the 3D interactions. I can easily tune into him and talk to him telepathically. I send him love and strength all the time and he needs it right now. He also confirmed to me that this is helping him (in the 3D). So the pull I feel, usually is this and I try to send it in a positive way (not disparate) and with no expectation attached to it. But I feel bad just ignoring it because I know that he is going through a lot and needs it. He is going through a life changing time right now, so do I ignore it and go on about my day when I feel him pull? Or is it ok to send him love as long as it is positive and not from a disparate place? What if he really needs it?
Also if he has something negative to say about how I interact with him, he doesn't seem to have a problem telling me.

I dislike the label as well for all the same reasons:) But when I found it, it made me feel like maybe I wasn't crazy. I didn't find it until after we went into separation and the whole time I was around him in the physical (3 years), I felt like I was going crazy and I didn't understand what was happening to me. The tf crazy def made me overwhelm him at times and then he would avoid me, making me crazier. But I didn't understand what it was then and I had tried really hard not to think about him that way for the reason that he was married. But I totally agree with all of the objections that are made about the label. For the most part though, I don't think he is runner anymore, he just can't get away from his circumstances and he is going through a lot, he told me yesterday his path is changing and changing and he can only take one day at a time.
I am trying to be understanding but it is def not easy to live through. I appreciate your input:)