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My impression is there is possibly some black and white thinking on your fathers side. Your mother is not a part of this factor and so wasn't highlighted. Does your fathers side tend to look at things from an all or nothing perspective? Well regardless I don't suspect it had anything to do with disapproval of your mother but the fact that came to you is an indication that you disapprove and I can see why. Regardless of any long term circumstances your mother committed to being there for better and worse and so she is dumping her responsibilities on you and that is upsetting and not fair of her. I send best wishes to you and your father.
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