You are an extension of source, and by not allowing it to flow freely through you, then
you are not allowing yourself to be the best you that you can be. You have to align yourself with you, by doing what brings joy to your life. That is why were are here, to be joyful, and joy comes from being in alignment with source. I know you want to tell yourself another story because it align better with what you have experienced, but if you stay on that vibration, then you will keep attracting more of what you already got. So you need to shift yourself to the vibration of the stuff you desire in your life. You do that by aligning yourself with source.
It was great talking to you. Hope you find what you are looking for
