4th reflection from Day 13 from the 2015 40 Days Observance
A little recap from my reflections on this day so far:
- non-attachment as a proactive thing, acting in the world from a detached space of silence
- observing thoughts in meditation to get into that silent space
- choosing thoughts wisely from that silent space, to co-create my spiritual progress with my Inner Guide
Everything starts with that silent space - getting into it (as deeply as possible) and staying there (as much as possible) and either resting in it (no thoughts, empty mind) or choosing the most noble, empowering thoughts and feelings from that space (co-creating, manifesting).
There is one more thing I want to highlight from that day. I have written about what Sri Vasudeva tells me about thought forms and what I can do with them (either empower thought to co-create with them, or detach from them and neutralize their power over me). But
where do these thoughts come from?
Where do thoughts come from?
According to yogic science, my mind has an active consciousness space/energy field that churns out thought after thought and an inactive consciousness space/energy field that holds all my thought forms, all my patterns of conditioned thinking in a dormant state, like seeds in my mind waiting to sprout. This space in yoga has a name:
chidākāsha. You may have heard of the "akashic records" - that's
chidākāsha - one's personal memories (from this lifetime and from lifetimes before). "Akasha" means subtle space or ether, and "Chida"/"Chitta" is mind-stuff or memory.
I remember experiencing a life review in reverse that time I nearly drowned... and then the judgment comes in and I think judgement day and all these notions of self judgment come from an experience of this space - when the soul leaves the gross body, the person becomes aware of it.
This is a fascinating space! Hypnosis can also take you there, and our guides may have access to some parts of it, but I think it is even more powerful in meditation, especially when Kundalini is the Guide - the most powerful Guide of all.
Sri Vasudeva explained that when the right brain allows me to use my intuition and creativity, it takes me into this big information space where information is stored there as waves of energy connecting mind and heart. In Tantric Yoga - the universe is considered to be made of information and energy. Space is the subtle element associated with the throat chakra, the
chidākāsha "
the consciousness space that holds all the thought forms, all the patterns". The throat chakra is responsible for communication - incoming and outgoing and it sits between the heart and mind - so this is a powerful chakra for capturing those old thinking and feeling patterns that are responsible for my conditioned behaviours.
These patterns AUTOMATICALLY produce a certain thought or train of thought whenever something triggers it. And in ordinary consciousness I am not even aware of it. I need to be in quiet mind to be detached enough, far enough away from it, to vibrate faster than this train of thought so I can see it - stop it - and change it if I want to.
My space of power
The
chidākāsha is a space I can explore to know more about my past (if I want to) but if I'm serious about enlightenment, then I will simply focus on changing patterns I don't want in my memory storage space (weeding) and replanting my memory storage space with patterns I do want (reseeding). Psychotherapists try to do this intellectually but it's far more powerful to create deep, lasting change when one is in that quiet mind space of deep meditation.
Quote:
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"What about if I explore that space that is behind the mind (because I can actually know what I am thinking - I can actually see or be conscious when these thought forms arise in me)? The moment you can have that little space where you can see the thoughts or the consciousness of the thoughts that is arising and say “Wow is it I who is getting this angry? Is it I who is attached to it? Is it I who is attached?” The moment you can have that distinction of seeing it, you have the opportunity to change," ~ Sri Vasudeva
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There is a whole teaching about that "opportunity to change" that wasn't really part of this particular talk (so I won't get into it here). In
this talk he is emphasizing going deeper into the space behind thoughts and that, by virtue of going deeper, at some point in meditation we are going to pass through this space of memories. It's a kind of milestone I think.
Quote:
"The moment you can feel that little space behind, you can gain access to the creative space, to the divine space, to the intuitive space,"
~ Sri Vasudeva
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This space of memories can be a playground for the soul. Some of my most insightful thoughts will come to me when I am just waking up from sleep first thing in the morning because I would have been floating around in there during sleep. I used to keep a journal by my bed and write down everything I could remember. It's another "thing" to get caught up in - and with a mind as curious about everything as mine is, I get caught quite a lot! But prophecy comes from this space; a lot of intuition and creative genius comes from this space. There's lots to explore here. So this kind of exploring can also be a trap on the journey to enlightenment because it can keep one stuck in mind rather than moving on to surrender and transcendence. On the other hand, I need to go there to experience knowing "I am not my body!" and it's also healing, comforting and nurturing in that space, as he mentioned. I need to pass through it and the white Light of transcendence waits for me on the other side.
As Sri Vasudeva reminded me after a really deep meditation experience, it can feel like a real letdown coming back into gross body consciousness. The ideal situation is to keep the meditation experience AND gross body consciousness at the same time. I've written about this everywhere.
Quote:
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"Most times you are so centred inside you don’t want to come down to the grossness but to actually go down there and hold the inner space... You will feel it diminishing because as you come into the grossness you will be identifying with matter, but if you hold the centre of Being you can be well integrated into matter," ~ Sri Vasudeva
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Well integrated indeed - one foot in one world, another foot in the other - and not in the way of the schizophrenic person who is hallucinating, but rather fully grounded and aware of being in different worlds at the same time (two physical eyes looking at this world, one subtle eye looking at the mental worlds)! The enlightened view is hard to imagine though...it's a different kind of clairvoyance than the what mediums/psychics have - because, among other things, everything is seen as Divine, without "othering".
Sri Vasudeva shared that from the vantage point of his consciousness, mind and body are so tiny compared to the huge, expansive freedom space he lives in continuously.
Quote:
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"…the moment you can access that inner space, you begin to observe everything that is happening inside in a more vast way. That’s how I observe life. I’m observing in a HUGE space. When I’m listening, the space is so LARGE - or even when I’m acting, even when I speak with you, it’s in a HUGE HUGE space of Consciousness, totally not identifying with the body. I use the body but it’s like flow, harmony," ~ Sri Vasudeva
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You can see it in his eyes that he is seeing this world through the vantage point of another one, a greater one that contains so much more in it. People who are in bliss have this look. It's not a "crazy" look, it's the look of one who is completed relaxed with what is, smiling on the inside, and fully in the know. Such people can look right through you without judging you.
So that's
chidākāsha and that about sums up the major points of Day 13. There is always more to find in his talks...but maybe it's time to move on to the next one.