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I have a few theories, and I agree with Star Wolf's post regarding aromatherapy.
The biggest one is that fire is a consuming and purifying element. It draws in negativity, transmuting it. The idea of "purging flames" and that wildfires clear out dead brush to provide nutrient-rich soil are observations of its ability.
The second theory - which likely ties into the first - is that historically, humans have been comforted by fire. Campfires and hearths, at least. Fire is light and heat, chasing away darkness and the cold. It brings people together, helps them survive, purifies food. Logically any manifestation of fire - including a candle - would trigger the same response.
Something I noticed is that you mentioned lighting a candle with the intention of having it induce positivity, rather than having it carry away negativity. I would recommend shifting it so that the fire's energy is more compatible. How this would help is that, right now there is negative energy - pain, fear, probably some anger - that is occupying space. That space can't hold positivity if it's holding other energy. I would suggest first looking into those feelings. First, imagine an egg shape of energy around you, or ask a Guide to place one around you. Vocalize the intention that you want this energy shield to provide positive, loving energy. Then light a candle, it doesn't matter what kind as long as it feels comfortable. Write the thoughts down, with the plan of simply expressing them on paper. Don't hold back; write how you feel, what you're afraid of (For example, "I'm mad at _____ for doing what she/he did, and I'm afraid that if this friendship is gone, I'll be alone"), all the feelings associated with it. Let them be expressed and brought out. Try not to push them; give them space to express instead of building up. The candle on its own will draw the feelings to it, creating a sort of energy vacuum. Envision positive energy flowing into the empty space, preferably from a Higher Power, a Guide, your Heart Chakra, or the energy shield.
The reason I suggest to do this - to focus on addressing your own energy - is that it is much easier to affect your own than others'. It also benefits other areas of the person's life when they work on one hurting aspect lovingly.
I wish you luck with your process, it's never easy to lose a relationship of any kind with another person.
__________________
"Sometimes you will act as an angel to others, perhaps without even realizing it. One day a woman comes up to you and says 'You saved my life'. You look at her astonished, trying to remember the last time you even saw this person before, the meeting meant so little to you at the time. 'Don't you remember? I was standing on the bridge, staring at the water, and you passed and said 'Good morning'."
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