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I agree with fennel 100%.
I'm having a similar experience, only it's my brother in-law. For the past five years I did everything I could to be a good sister in-law. He has never thanked me, never apologized to me, always ignored me during family gatherings, completely disrespected me, even while staying in my home for almost two months (for free!), while I babysat his then-2-year-old daughter during the day. He even said some hostile things to me right in my face, in my own home.
I am away from my husband at the moment, not being able anymore to accept his idea that "I'm married to the whole family". He treats his brother like crystal, everything that his brother does is just 'nice'.
What CrystalSong wrote to you actually came like an answer to me... It is not only about what I want, unfortunately it's his choice, too. He chose to treat me like that. My husband chose to take his side and not mine.
Before I left I said to my husband that this time I wanted to learn to love and respect myself, and not let anyone disrespect and belittle me again. Nobody has the right to mistreat me like that.
Stay strong!
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