[PaperPrincess]

I realize most people have a tendency to act “clingy” and/or “needy” sometimes, especially when we meet someone we really like. I have acted this way in the past, and it negatively affected relationships that were very important to me. It is an issue I have actively worked on (and am continuing to work on) by focusing on/learning to love myself through therapy, energy work, spiritual development, participating in my hobbies, and studying psychology; as well as trying to meet more people so I don’t get overly attached to any specific person.

As part of the whole “meeting more people” idea, I signed up for a dating site, and yesterday I met up with one of the guys the site matched me with (“Joe”). He seemed cool and we had a nice chat over coffee, but I wasn’t really attracted to him, and it felt more like having a pleasant conversation with one of my coworkers or neighbors.
However, it’s been my experience that sometimes that “spark” or “chemistry” doesn’t always develop right away, so I figured that if he said he wanted to see me again, I’d give it 1-2 more dates to see if I felt differently later on. At the end of the date, Joe said he wanted to go out again and asked for my number.

This morning when I checked my email, I saw that last night Joe had sent me a message on the site, and left comments on a few of my pictures. And before I had time to respond to any of that, he sent me a text. I was in a meeting at work and quickly wrote back that work was busy and I couldn’t reply further. He continued texting me anyway, I turned my phone off and waited to reply until I got out of the meeting. He asked me out for Saturday and I agreed, then suggested we go out on Sunday too. I already have plans for Sunday, so I told him I wasn’t available.

On my lunch break, I logged on to the dating site to reply to a message another guy had sent me, and almost as soon as I had logged in, Joe sent me a chat request. I ignored it, replied to the other message, and logged out.

So it would be helpful to have some perspective: Personally, I find Joe’s behavior to be overly clingy, especially since we just met. However, I have a history of getting too attached to people who aren’t really interested in me, and being dismissive of those who do show interest, so I’m not sure if I’m being fair in my observations. What do others think?

Also, if I realize that I’m truly not interested in seeing him again after Saturday, any advice on how to end things in the most kind and compassionate way possible?

And one more thing—I know that “like attracts like,” so the fact that I seem to still attract people with clingy/needy tendencies shows me I still have stuff to work on. But I’ve been working on this and thought I was doing better—any advice on how to further address this issue within myself?