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Old 28-04-2015, 10:48 PM
Tobi Tobi is offline
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Actually you know, astralsuzy, I have direct experience with this sort of situation. My mother didn't have Alzheimers but had advanced Dementia which is similar.

The one thing I wonder about is how good are these changes of environments for your Dad anyway? It's only my own opinion, but it seems my mother did better with the same old 'boring' routine, in the same old 'boring' environment. Sudden shifts and changes could make her anxious.
Another thing is whoever is looking after your Dad will have to keep their eyes on him 24/7. Literally -every minute. If he is prescribed sleeping medication and it works, then there may be a few hours respite from the constant observation.
I don't know how your brothers are fixed, or how you could cope with living like that. It's okay to say you are not working at weekend, so could afford the time. But I don't know how hard you have to work during the week, or your hours. You would need some time at the weekend for your own family....
But at the same time, it's very tough at times like this. My own brother gave everything he'd got (he lived in the same house as my mum.) I could only visit every few weeks for 2 weeks at a time, while he went away. I felt selfish too. But the way my brother had arranged the house, there was nowhere for me to sleep if he was there also! So I couldn't move in there.
I talked to my brother about me and the dog making a little 'den' in the garden shed. I wouldn't have minded that. He wouldn't hear of it, for fear of what the neighbours might think! LOL

My mother smoked, and the one most dangerous thing that could happen was that she would suddenly try to make some sort of flame to light her cigarette....or to turn on the gas stove! My brother and I had to fix a strong steel plate over the top of the gas stove. My little frail mother aged nearly 90 could lift that steel plate and anything put on top to weight it.....
So the plate had to be fixed in a way so she couldn't undo it.
There were other dangers too. Night times were dangerous. I felt 'selfish' for falling asleep. I'd grab 4-5 hours then dash downstairs to find her dressed and asleep half out of bed. I'd haul her back into bed, give her a kiss, tell her to "stay there and wait", then grab 2 more hours sleep....etc.

My honest opinion is that your Dad might be better off where he is. At home.
Obviously I don't know your family's financial situation, and maybe you should keep that private, but if there's any way to get any 'respite care' into the home, that may be a good thing. If you can all afford it -get it. Even if it's only for a few days a week. If your Dad has some one sitting in with him, it would free up your mother to maybe spend some time relaxing with you?

Is there an Alzheimer's charity which may provide respite care -or your local social services?

Calling the Alzheimer association for advice sounds like a wise move.
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