Thanks a lot Master for that very construtive piece of advice. I appreciate it.

I think just coming on here and typing it all out makes me feel better. Once I write it out after I get the hysterical feelings out its like I just find the answers I need. I pretty much know what your saying. I know its me that needs to be that strenth on my own. Kind of lead by example thing. But a lot of what you said comfirms and reminds me of that.Its like once it gets to a certain time at night, when all is quiet and Ive busied myself throughout the day I come to a point where I just feel like I cant be that strong, Maybe its tiredness. I just find it hard to feel up when people I care about are down. Even when strangers are sad I am too lately.

The main worry is'nt really me or him. I understand what hes say and why hes behaviing like this. But I know other people dont. I just dont want them to do anything stupid and treat him like a mental patient.

However I know I am a big influence on him so this is more of a reason for me to pick MYSELF up and hopefully I can show him the way...like a lighthouse (I liked that one, hope you dont mind that I stole it there lol).