My ego took over and tf gone!
 

I accused him of playing with me (for the umpteenth time) and he's gone. He said he has no idea why he ever had a crush on me. I was sure we are tf and I was so excited for the connection. He stopped writing me and I pushed, then showed compassion and pushed too hard today and he said it's over. I have never felt worse. There's no way to get him to come back, is there? I feel so awful and scared my feelings won't go away. My ego is so stubborn.

I feel for you. I have been there. It's not a easy journey. I know you are not gonna like hearing this but if he is really your twinflame/SC he will always be apart of you. We tend to get caught up with what we want and we don't see what we are doing. We need to just accept the connection for what is and focus on ourselves. Pushing or asking for reassurance only pushes our beloved away. I would just let him be. Maybe once he's had some space he may see things differently.

Hang in there okay? It isnt a easy journey at all but it will make you a stronger person.

Thank you. I am so sad and stunned right now. I guess I never really thought I could push him away like I have. I am trying to focus on my journey, but right now all I can do is be sad. There's a part of me that feels like it will all be ok. Is that delusional? Also, riding in my car today I saw the number I asked my guides to send me to indicate he is my twin everywhere and then a sort of outdated song that reminds me of him came on the radio. I am starting to think I'm just making this whole thing up and it's wishful thinking or something.

I have gone through all of that. When I doubt and get worried I see his name or signs relating to him everywhere. Every once in awhile I miss him so much, my heart aches and I will break down and cry. Other days I am fine. I don't think you are making it up. I doubt what I know all the time. Then I look at the facts, all that has happend. I have been in love before with someone in a normal non spiritual connection relationship. I was able to get over him and move on. My breakup with him was a hard one and it almost consumed me. My relationship with my beloved was on a whole other level. He became distant towards the end of it but it was my fears that fully pushed him away. I blamed him for the longest time and did not fully see the part I played in our separation. He loved me and but I couldn't believe in it, trust it. I needed reassurance it was real and since then I am still doing it. Something had to give and I know things with him couldn't continue the way they were. I know it is best that we parted. I had and still have things to learn and overall I thankful for it. I would not trade in one moment that I shared with him. Some people go there whole lives without experiencing love. At least I have and it has been the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.

Thank you. He was mean and I was scathing. He seemed hurt that I was so understanding at times and so viscious at others. My fear took over. I tried explaining this to him. Now he just thinks I'm unstable and have these weird patterns. I wish he could see that I was excited about our connection and just wanted him to write me back with the same enthusiasm. I figured that if he was as excited about it as I was he would have. Maybe that should have been my sign to let it go, but I was convinced we had something deep and meaningful. He wonders how he could have ever had a crush (he's never really actually said he feels the way I do so maybe that's another indication it's not a tf). I have never told him I fell in love with him--until today, when he told me we can't be friends anymore. It didn't matter. He's gone. This couldn't have just been one-sided, right? I wasn't looking for this. But I guess no one who enters into an affair is ever really looking to get into one, so maybe this is really all it is.

Give him space and he may come back. My heart's keeper always comes back to the connection, no matter what. He says he just wants to be friends, tho I wonder sometimes. But I really believe that if he is a tf(as they call them) he will come back to you. If/when he does, remember not to let your ego have it's way. I am learning not to push myself upon him if I want to stay in touch with this beautiful soul that I has come into my life.

My heart's keeper always comes back to the connection, no matter what

I think this to be true. I also think we are our own hearts keepers.

He'll come back, but you might wanna keep your ego at arms length when he does or he might go for good.

When we think/do with our ego, it makes us do crazy things. We get so caught up in our own hurt feelings we don't see what our actions are doing to our other halves or others around us.

I agree just focus on you and give him space.

My ego had a lot to do with SC running away. :icon_frown: