"My" angel
 

A few weeks ago, while at a Reiki share, I made a connection with an angel who has been a very vocal and strong presence in my life ever since. While I have always believed in angels, I have never had one so overtly involved in my day-to-day life. (meaning if other's are around, they are much quieter lol).

I have been wrestling with confidence/worthiness issues of late. I have realized where it comes from: all my life, if I showed any signs of self-confidence, I was metaphorically slapped down and told not to have such an ego. I still struggle with it.

I was thinking about it this morning. The angel has been referring to me as "in training," and telling me that is why he's with me. My worthiness issues keep resurfacing, and I wonder why I deserve it. When I allow myself to experience all the wonderful blessings I'm being given, and I can feel my self-confidence starting to grow, I will often chastise myself for it.

So I decided ask my angel to help me with it. This is what he said:

Self-confident vs Egotistical? You life in a society that often confuses the two. While neither is inherently bad, when healthy ego morphs into egotistical behavior, it's easy to lose sight of the big picture.

Self-confidence: acknowledges and appreciates your unique skills and gift and allows for growth, sharing, and learning.
Egotistic: resists new ideas or growth.

Self-confidence: uses gifts to help enrich your life and the lives of those around you.
Egotistic: uses gifts to elevate your life from the lives of those around you.

<I asked for clarification, and he says meaning to believe you are above others, or better than them.>

Self-confidence: uses your skills to help others.
Egotistic: uses your skills to help others, making sure you get credit.

Self-confidence: knowing how precious you are to the Divine.
Egotistic: thinking you are more precious than others.

I thought I would share what he said. As a caveat, I have asked him to over-simplify things as much as possible for me, so some of this might seem a little simplistic...it's because that's how I asked for him to communicate with me. I get overwhelmed easily lol.

Do you make your connection thru meditation?

not really meditation. I don't actively meditate (I've tried, I am not practiced enough to meditate longer than a minute or two). I feel him whenever I think his name, it feels like a warm blanket drapes over me. I hear him when I'm relaxed, even if I'm doing other things. He talks to me often in my dreams. He will also come through in automatic writing if I ask him to.