Wake me up, when September ends...
I just wanted to start another thread, to bring back hope and faith...and truth.
I was raised in religion, through much much hardship, and pain. As I got older, I got staunchly, and lived logically. . Nothing meant more to me than logic. I was slowly descending into my own personal hell. I think we all know what that is, I don't have to explain much about it....you all know. When I entered my 20s...I was done with religion. You see, I was that 10yr old, who sat in the pews, who thought...what a bunch of ****! It is scientifically impossible to live inside a whale, or to come back from the dead.
I didn't believe any of it, even at 10 yrs old, even listening to a preacher with many followers in my church...much older than me. I thought they were silly, even at that age...I knew better.
What a bunch of dumb people. Idiots, to believe such stupid ****. Lol. I mean, you all been to school and educated, right? You never seen nothing like that, and neither have I.
As I hit my early 20s, I became atheist....even more profound because of the people who had NDE and didn't experience nothing.....Nothing. Blackness, nothingness, dead, gone. You don't exist.
I believed that, I mean...why not....it's the truth, right? How can you explain that, you can't.
Until, I had my own NDE, yes I saw darkness, grey, and nothingness. But then I saw, a loved one, and what I would describe as energy.
Well, the bible never said nothing about energy....it never taught a thing about that. I didn't care about science, and certainly not about energy. It was a hallucination, caused by DMT. That's what they said, and still say.
That's what it was....until Instarted having prophetic drea,s and visions after that NDE. They were hallucinations, too. I questioned and was skeptical of my own experiences, too.
But people, I was the biggest skeptic....because I didn't want to be schizophrenic, or crazy.....I wanted to see the truth. If I'm crazy, then let me know.
So, When things happened...I would automatically chalk them up to hallucinations, DMT, or whatever else science said it was. That was truth to me....if these things were happening to me...then tell nobody, and let them pass. I understood it was crazy and not real. But, God, energy, my ancestors, whoever is apart of this process....had different plans. They were going to show me the truth....and they did. They took an thesis, who still had a soul felt faith in goodness....and used that to build on.
I was shown so many things through dreams, visions and clairaudience...while I was a MF atheist....and still didn't believe....and everything I was shown, happened immediately after I was shown. PM me if you want to know details, there's so many experiences, I can not write them all in this thread.
I can only tell you, I was shown people's past painful experiences, people's current spiritual experiences, deaths, visits from ancestors, warnings of diasaters, visits from deceased loved ones...and future events....and I was still a MF atheist. It didn't matter what God, or whoever was showing me this...it did t matter. It was hallucinations to me, even if it was followed immediately by action or truth.
My point is, God, or whoever from the spirit realm, went far above and beyond to show me there is a real, tangible, spiritual, loving light. And it didn't matter what was shown to me, I wouldn't believe it. I find the forums to release these experiences....but I. One of the most staunchest, even cold people when it co,Es to spiritual stories. I think everybody is crazy....I know they are. I also k ow, that there is something else out there....it's real. I don't know exactly what the hell it is....and I'm not religious, but it's define toys the lines of self love first...and spiritual growing. Even if you died a few minutes, and seen nothing, but darkness...you are on Gods time, you ,aunrwt, you may sleep....but you will be awakened, and it matters not....your religion, belief, of faith...you are on Gods time. You don't run the show....he does, if you are open to his time, and many are unconsciously,...you will see. But, no matter what faith or religion you are....if your soul is nothing on the same page....you won't see, at least not right away.
I seen, I was shown so many things....I was not consciously aware, I did not consciously believe, and I certainly did not believe consciously....but my soul was aware. Two completely opposites...living this existence against each other.
It is real, there is more....there are more prophets here than I the biblical age...but they haven't stepped up, and I this day and age, it's harder than in the biblical age.
Everything is met with skeptical, and humiliation.
This world is so messed up.
We are all human, even prophets...we are still human.
We are on Gods time, we can alternate, and we can thrive to be on a higher spiritual path....but our souls are different, they are in a different spiritual wavelength than our consciousness. It's our essence, we don't listen to....because our emotions in over ride our essence.
We all will be awakened, fully....and dfferently....on Gods time, according to our spiritual connection to God.
Some of us sleep, some of us are awake, some of us are barely getting through, but our connection to the source is unconscious mostly....felt on an ether if level, which most dont pay attention to....even when we are spiritually high, or think we are connected....when we really aren't.
Man, that was a good read - thanks for sharing :smile:
I remember reading about your NDE (I think?), and it was very interesting to say the least. I especially like the bit I quoted. I too believe what you're saying here; it struck a chord for me.
We have no idea what's actually happening, do we - not a clue. Well, some of us claim to have the faintest idea, but even then I'd hedge a bet it's actually nothing like what they imagine it to be. We're living a movie in these body's, IMO. It's almost make-believe, yet also comes with a great desire to learn.
It's like playing a video game. Except in a game you remember the real world so you don't take the game seriously as you know it's "just a game".
Now imagine if prior to playing the game your memory was temporarily wiped (before each new life - as games often have multiple 'lives'), and also that you could not see outside the game. Now you would take the game very seriously because it would be your whole reality. Lessons learned would have greater impact as the experiences happened to you - to the core of your being.
Some of us can see some of the inner workings of the game and get a sense of what is really going on; perhaps we can communicate with other users outside our direct space, but like on the internet, anonymity gives these other beings free reign to say whatever they want with no repercussions to themselves, and so we may not always get the truth and we may be easily ridiculed or threatened by those with no means to back up those threats.
Some play the game to see how it works, some to have fun, some to be challenged or to overcome the hardest difficulty settings, some to learn a particular lesson or to have a particular experience. But of course once we enter we have no recollection of our choices made beforehand. When we are in the game we think "Why would I choose such a terrible life with bad things happening to me??" but once we leave the game and our memories come back the answers will be clear.
At least that's my belief. One day I'll know for sure but until then there's not much point wasting all of my time within the game, trying to look outside it - though the temptation to learn is very strong! At this point I can't see myself taking my own advice and I will probably keep trying to learn about the inner workings until the day I die. Or perhaps, like you, I'll learn this lesson sooner rather than later, and then I can focus on learning other lessons instead of getting distracted.
So many of the questions I asked earlier in life have been answered by my experiences up to 10/20 years later (they were also answered in person when I asked but of course I didn't really learn until I experienced it myself); I have to start being careful about which questions I'm asking as I'm slowly running out of time.. Perhaps these boards are the beginning of getting those answers I seek about the game we play and then I can go back to my main lesson of not being selfish (which I've always known from a young age); or perhaps I can multitask..
Lol, the reluctant spiritualist.
@Deb...I know, right, lol.... Story of my life!!! I'm that person who met a deceased relative I never knew I had through dreams, learned of my grandfathers death through a visit, saw my own future through visions....and I'm a hard core skeptic. I can only imagine what God, or my ancestors will have to say to me when I get back there. I wonder if they get mad....or cuss over there? Lol. Imswear one time, years ago...I was hot on the back of my head, and nobody was there.... It felt like somebody smacked me, not hard, but like someone was saying....listen! Was it them....lol
Even now, I read my post....and Im like...what freakin weirdo! It's actually liberating to be of deprecating at times, I feel like I'm not hiding things.
Yet, there's s truth on a soul level there, that makes us all weird as truth can not be touched, but only felt.
I just can't always maintain some kind of constant unshakable faith at times, these days...because it's not tangible, solid, touched, seen...you see, after my NDE, it felt like I was a new soul again. I felt I had been healed, I was on a spiritual high for years after that. It was like I was filled with this energy that I hadn't felt since I was first born. Through the years, and this life...it's slowly wore off, but yet, there is some kind of cord or connection where I still get "soft spoken messages" Not the blatant "in your face visions, dreams, and other abilities" I still have it, I think...I'm just not on that spiritual high, like I use to be.
What's really amazing though, and keeps me holding onto what I've experienced, through the years and the time that has passed, sometimes with no experiences for years...is that I can write a perfectly ethereal messed up post like this....and you guys get it....because it's real. Everything I've seen and experienced, especially after my NDE...was real.
It's feels as if I was in another completely alternate universe from then. . Those days, weeks, and years....I was floating through this spiritual high from that time. That's what it felt like after my NDE. I still ask questions, not sure if I'm blind by this reality these days...or I just feel abandoned at times.
It's been 15 years since that happen...and that time seems so magical to me now. Mainly because I'm back in reality...back to this lower level, in the real world again, trying to keep that faith(I still get glimpses of that level of spiritual insight these days, just far and few in between) I can only liken it to when we are small babies and toddlers, with so much energy...and as we get older, that energy, high, and protection wears off through life experiences.
It's hard here, even after so much I have experienced, as the years get further away from that time...I feel that time has slipped away. I have to remember and hold those memories and experiences close to me.
Everyday, before bed..I am buying iBooks online or surfing the web to read others experiences, their beliefs, and what's happened to them. Just reading their stories, brings all of it back for me again.
I have learned, nothing surprises me anymore. All of our experiences are glimpses into all of our spiritual paths. So when they speak of, or write their experiences....I am invited into their spirit for that moment...and for that moment...I am reliving my own again and again.
Thanks for reading, you guys. God Bless!
I was raised Christian and abandoned that in my early 30's and started reading books not approved by the Christian community.
From that time of abandoning my Christianity to about the next 10 years, I wasn't an atheist, (I had to many supernatural experiences as a child) but I sat on the fence with no beliefs either way. And I continued reading. As the years passed and I had time to read (I was a single parent at that time) I began picking this and that that sounded right to me in my heart or inner eye.
There are just to many books and information out there from those with NDE's and communication from Beyond for me not to believe.
I don't think I am kooky, I think the world is! I don't live my life blindly going about my routines questioning nothing!
It was once put to me this way: If you were going to visit a foreign country wouldn't you read up on it first? But when it comes to where we will go after death, people won't attempt to understand. They consider it to gruesome. Seriously?
As far as cussing on the Other Side. I've read yes there is in certain places, and not all of them are dark!
Your statement : truth can not be touched, but only felt, is so profound. I've never heard it worded like that but it is exactly true!
The spiritual high isn't supposed to last a lifetime. You have to come down and do more work, learn more things. We only get a glimpse of those highs to recharge our belief system then it's back to the grindstone.
If you want a list of books I've read and recommend, let me know.
Here is a website that has a lot of recommended books. I haven't read any of them (I have thousands of books on my "to read" list already).
What attracted me to your thread was your title. It's very intriguing.
Lastly, what really clenched my belief in an afterlife was having a "dream" of my life before this one where I commit suicide and my life between that one and this where I went to a barren planet to live in a giant bubble with a cottage, a horse a paradise and time to think through to a solution to my dilemma. It was exactly like Star Trek's hologram except instead of a room, mine was in a giant transparent bubble.
Deb, your story sounds similar to mine. I have read your posts on other threads and thought the same thing before. I also was having spiritual experiences as a child, but did not know what it was.
I admire your strength, and faith in yourself and your spirituality. After I wrote the last post today, I felt as if God let me have the experience of a NDE. It was my undoing, but it was Gods will, too. I knew that high wouldn't last, but it was such a relief from the pain and turmoil I had lived in at that time for so long. It's one of those things, that if everyone experienced it...nobody would want to be here.
I love to read, so of course I would like to know of any you recommend. I will read the website you posted before bed tonight. It's always the last thing I do, it helps me sleep.
Thank you for your post, Deb. Its always uplifting to get others experiences, point of view, and their own beliefs. When I read people like you, and me, and others....it helps me to see where, or why I need to be stronger...some days are easier than others. I often come here when I need to be uplifted, and even thou I don't feel that "high" I talked about earlier, anymore....the closest thing I have on the daily, is these spiritual websites and reading others posts here, certainly does help me to feel closer to God when I am lonely....through all of you guys sharing your journey, too.
We're here for each other.:hug:
I'll try to post the list tomorrow. I say try because you never know what a day may bring.:rolleyes: :D
Here is my list of books that changed my life. I have many more that I haven't even cracked open:rolleyes: but these got the red dot (a small red nail polish dot on the spine) as my favorites.
The Self-Full Life, Peg Abernathy
Walking in the Garden of Souls, George Anderson & Andrew Barone
The Last Frontier Julia Assante, PhD
The Afterlife Unveiled, Stafford Betty
Life in the World Unseen, Anthony Borgia
More About Life in the World Unseen, Anthony Borgia
Life on the Casual Planet, Marian Eileen Carlton
Across Time & Death,Jenny Cockell
Afterlife, Barry Eaton
Testimony of Light, Helen Greaves
Afterlife Interviews, Volumes I & II, Jeffrey Marks (one interviewee cusses a lot)
Mutant Message Down Under, Marlo Morgan (just for fun)
Journey of Souls Michael Newton (most everyone has heard of his books)
Destiny of Souls, Michael Newton
Queen of the Sun, E.J. Michael (just for fun)
Mass Dreams of the Future, Chet Snow (a protegee of Helen Wambach, listed below)
Exploring the Eternal Soul, Andy Tomlinson
Choices in the Afterlife, Gretchen Vogel
Life Before Life, Helen Wambach (highly, highly recommend, I'll never see a pregnant woman or baby the same)
Many Lives, Many Masters, Brian Weiss
Life Between Life, Joel Whitton & Joel Fisher
The Instruction, by Ainslie MacLeod (highly, highly recommend, I see humanity so much differently now)
I love some books in that list :)
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