Am I being punished?
First of all, I hope I posted this in the right section. Because it's mainly about death and the afterlife but it also involves some stuff regarding past lives and my health at the moment.
Okay so when I was 15, I had this heart disease which could've easily killed me but it didn't. And it took me about 2-3 years to overcome this. But now I'm 23 years old and I'm really ill again. Like I'm in so much pain every single day and this has been going on for a month now. This disease seems to target my muscles and nerves all over my body. The doctors thought of multiple sclerosis but all of my scans and tests were fine. So basically they have no clue what's going on. And it made me wonder, am I somehow being punished? Maybe for being bad in a past life? Maybe this is karma?
I've heard people say that overcoming illnesses makes you stronger and all that. But I don't see how? I had a good life before this. I mean I had friends, I went to uni, did my homework. And now I was forced to cancel all of my upcoming exams, I can't even go out anymore. The only thing I do is sleep as much as I possible can so I don't have to deal with the pain. I feel so desperate that I even prayed to God and asked for advice from any of my spirit guides. I'm a lucid dreamer, so it's easy for me to remember my dreams. But so far, none of my dreams were about my illness. So it looks like I'm not getting any signs.
Or could this illness be a spiritual sign to let me know that it's my time to go and to end it all? I know I can hold on for a few more days or maybe a few weeks but not months or even the rest of my life. The pain just seems to get worse as days go by. :(
I just want some answers as to why this is happening to me. Because I know a lot of you guys know much more than me when it comes to life and the afterlife.
:hug2: I extend love and light to you, my friend.
You are not being punished by anyone outside of you. Yes, we all have karma, for karma is simply the interplay between cause and effect, yet it is not about punishment. In truth, when we worry excessively, this is a form of "unconscious" self-punishment.
In your extreme situation, concerning yourself with a question such as "Am I being punished?" is not a very helpful action. That is, the more you intellectualize your situation, the more it brings discomfort, because the intellectual thought process--when not placed under the supervision of higher consciousness (the "Higher Self")--creates stress (mental/emotional/physical stress).
In other words, if you began affirming within yourself something like,
"My main objective now is to make the best of my current situation, through making myself as comfortable as possible. I will be easier on myself. The past really doesn't matter, for my true focus is in the here and now. I will let my actions be guided by love, as best as I can,"
then such an attitude would be less stressful than where you are currently focused. It would be an attitude that is more conducive to promoting well-being on all levels. You may actually use lucid dreaming to help in healing yourself. This too is a tool that you have that you may use to promote healing. You could, for example, while lucid in a dream, use this as a platform to contact your Higher Self, spirit guides, as well as manifest a more healthy body.
You could use lucid dreaming to confront and heal an issue. Quite simply, you can use it to promote well-being for yourself, mentally, emotionally and physically.
The real reason why your situation is happening to you is simply because you have some debilitating beliefs (some unhealthy thought patterns) that are in alignment with physical pain. That is the core of it. It is not really about past karma or past actions, it is about your CURRENT psychological state, which does indeed affect the body.
I suggest not thinking too much about the details of your situation and the details of your past, as best as you can. You really want well-being, this is certain. Well-being is not about receiving intellectual answers so that you can feel better, it is about FIRST allowing oneself to ease up, allowing oneself to focus more on appreciating the life that one has. True clarity is about allowing oneself to feel joy. Your core problem is that you are not really appreciating yourself nor your life experience enough. There are people who have gone through more "hell" than you, and even more physical pain, who have managed to discover some degree of inner peace within themselves. This is a fact.
Therefore, I suggest that you see these words that I am offering you here as not what is really being offered: You are being offered love, compassion and an opportunity to connect deeper with the Life Force within you. That is really what I am offering you here, not an intellectual answer. It is a reminder to look more at the bright side of your life as a whole.
You receive signs all the time! It is just that you think that a sign must come in a certain form, or something spectacular. Well, what about a sunny day? Is that not a sign, a symbol of love and hope? There are endless signs, yet you must learn to stop rejecting them.
All experiences make the soul stronger, this is certain.
Best Wishes, I extend you. :hug3:
As far as I know, physical illness can even precede a spiritual transformation, and plenty of people who had deep spiritual insight were very ill when they were young (*), so in my opinion there is no reason to assume that illness is a punishment.
(*) I'm sorry but no names come to mind right now, perhaps other members can fill in. I tried googling, and some pages were reflecting my assumption that there can be a relation between spiritual transformation and (unexplained) physical illness.
I have some additional thoughts that you may find helpful:
That you physically survived heart disease at age 15 can be seen by you as empowering, if you so choose, and this can be used as incentive to feel more positive about your current situation.
Although there is much about the body/mind connection that modern medical science doesn't account for, for in truth it is still a baby science, there are still some specialists in the overall healthcare field that can be of great assistance to you, in particular those who are open to unconventional approaches that have worked for others who have been in a similar situation as yourself.
In addition to any medicines you may be taking, keeping the body hydrated would be helpful, if you are not already doing so, as this also helps to reduce discomfort and pain in the body, as well as oxygenating the body fairly often, through deep breathing exercises. Much human dis-ease is related to a lack of proper oxygenation (although this is not the root cause).
In all cases of muscle and nerve conditions, there is also mental/emotional tension involved. This is true in all cases, even when a condition has been medically diagnosed. You have perhaps heard of medical cases where the patient has had--or has developed--such a strong religious or spiritual faith that they applied their metaphysical beliefs to their situations and had spectacular results, even when medical science may not have seemed to have worked well for them.
In many of these cases it is noted that the reduction of psychological stress is a "key factor." (It is more than just a key factor, however, since there can be no true cure for any condition without psychological well-being also being present.) Therefore, whatever traditional approaches you may be taking, and whatever medical advice and treatment you may receive, keep in mind as best as you can the great importance of your psychological well-being as well.
I myself have had a condition (not diagnosed) of sore muscles throughout my body that has flared up on a number of conditions. I have no primary physician nor medical insurance, by the way. However, due to developing some strong self-healing beliefs over the years, I was able--and am able--to alter the condition/situation through first not allowing worry and fear to prevent me from having clear perception. In addition to noticing and acknowledging inner tensions and a negative thought pattern of feeling stagnant, on many occasions I have used a very simple self-healing visualization where I imagined White Light pouring into my spine from all directions, building up in my spine and then releasing out into all areas of my body.
My friend, I tell you, using this very simple visualization has been highly effective for reducing pain, increasing my energy levels and giving me a stronger immune system, as well as promoting well-being in general, mental/emotional/physical. However, the efficacy of such tools as visualization and affirmation is such that we receive the highest results the more we are in tune with the flow of energy in the physical body. This is where deep breathing exercises can be very helpful, or simply remembering to take a few deep breaths now and then.
Everything is energy, and energy is really consciousness, and with this understanding one can perform many miracles of love, when one allows oneself to be guided by the force of Divine Love that is within.
Although this is the "Death & The Afterlife" forum, I felt it more appropriate to address what I felt was more practical to the here-and-now experience that you are having. I do not recommend considering "ending it all" (as you had mentioned this in your post), for this would not solve anything in itself. Suicide is a type of karma that perpetuates cowardice, guilt, a victim mindset and it can sometimes greatly slow down spiritual growth, depending upon the person's beliefs and level of maturity, and also how the person reacts to his/her own suicide in the spirit realms.
I wish you well, BringMeTheHorizon.
The reality (in my eyes) is both harsh and a relief. What is happening to you has nothing to do with karma or past lives and there may not be any reason for it at all because life can be completely pointless, not to mention unfair and cruel. But at the same time that also means that you aren't being punished for anything. It's just bad luck I suppose. Some useless idiots who live like parasites and spend their entire lives causing misery to others may live up to a hundred years old, so ask yourself if karma exists why aren't they being punished, but why are you? Because there simply is no such thing as karma. But about the afterlife nothing can be said by any of us who haven't had a NDE yet. Many NDE's and afterlife stories share contradictions so it's pretty much impossible to know what happens after death.
That being said, I wish you the best dude.
I'm sorry to hear that you had heart disease at 15. Thats tough, and thats a long time to struggle with it.
When people say that struggling with something makes them stronger they don't mean when they are in the middle of struggling with it. They mean later, after they've gotten through it. You are in pain. Its not time for you to be feeling or doing anything but the basics in taking care of yourself right now. I would advise you to find out what is causing the problem as soon as you can and also let your parents (if they are not clear on it) and the doctors know that you are in a lot of pain. Pain wears on people. Especially the pain you are talking about. From my point of view reading what you wrote it would be a good idea to get it in control as soon as you can, however they best advise that.
I don't know why you are going through what you are. I don't know why I went through what I did. I do know that I was watching a woman ask a guru one time why her child committed suicide. She said to him "was it something I did wrong? Was it something I should have seen?" He said to her, "you will never be able to understand the answer from where you are looking at it." I'm not sure if what I'm saying is making sense or not - but what I mean is that there are a lot of things that could be said right now, but right now, I'm reading that you feel really terribly bad, I guess what I mean is that sometimes we aren't in the place to understand, it doesn't mean we will always be there-
I will tell you for sure that so much will make sense that does not right now. and maybe I am totally not helping one bit. If I could tell you my life-
the illness is not a spiritual sign to let go and to end it all.
I do not believe life works that way.
Can you reach out to a councellor? More doctors?
Hang in there for now. If I could give advice, keep on pushing to find out what is wrong so you can get back getting healthier. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Don't give up.
Take good care of you in the meantime, make sure to eat well, keep your body as strong as you can, sleep well.
Wishing you the best, Marie
*Staffed Edited due to thread being cleaned up and edited content no longer relevant.
I came across this very inspiring video, and I think it you will find it helpful (it's about hypnosis, the influence of the mind on the healing process, and about the relationship between spirituality and disease)
BringMeTheHorizon, I urge you to skip through the argumentative posts and concentrate on getting better physically and mentally. In your case, my recommendation would be to see a good hypnotist, who can help you with your pain problems.
You are certainly not being punished. The Universe gives us freedom to choose, however. So it is all too easy to make wrong choices during our time here. We also have to deal with the harsh realities of the uncertainty and unpredictability of this physical world.
My suggestion would be for you to find a good hypnotist, who could firstly help you with your physical pain issues. It doesn't matter whether they are caused by physical or mental issues, or both, in any event s/he could help you in relieving the symptoms. If you do some research, you will see that even major hospital operations have been done under deep hypnosis without anaesthetic.
As for the cause of your problems, that can be dealt with also by hypnosis, but preferably after you are out of physical pain. Yes, logic might seem to dictate that the cause should be dealt with before the symptom, but it will be difficult for you to concentrate on finding any cause whilst in pain. Hence my suggestion.
Every best wish to you! Get well soon! Feel free to contact me by PM if you feel the need.
*Staffed Edited due to thread being cleaned up and edited content no longer relevant.
Really sorry for your predicament!
You wrote you're a lucid dreamer. To get the answers you need, it's better to actively ask direct questions, instead of passively waiting for signs.
During your next lucid dream / astral projection, launch a direct question (e.g. "what is causing this (specific) pain?", or "who can tell me why I'm sick now?", etc.), and pay attention to the first word that comes immediately into your mind, without rationalizing neither what you get, nor what you believe you should get.
You should succeed from the first try, then ponder on it until it makes sense to you.
If you don't succeed you can try again next time, maybe you weren't "deep" enough, or maybe at this point in your life you aren't ripe to be told more. Try to ask your question in a different way, so that you can receive a very short answer.
Good luck, and good health!
That sounds like very good advice, BringMeTheHorizon. Physical pain brings anyone right down. It is extremely difficult to focus on anything whilst enduring body pain. My kindest wishes to you.
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