Simple: look happy and confident!
 

You want to win friends, get a better job, get more opportunities and even get served faster at Burger King? Simple, no tablets or surgery, no course to buy: look happy and confident.

According to various polls and studies over the last 30 years and more, visually happy, confident, well-adjusted people get offered more opportunities, more promotions, get served faster, get more respect and even seem to have better luck than those less well-adjusted among us.

Also, the simple act of displaying how you feel, whether to someone else or just yourself, is very, very powerful, because it creates your mental state. Sustaining a tell, such as a frown, keeps you feeling the emotions that caused it. It's a little like a feedback system. You feel down, you show it as a tell. But sustaining the tell keeps you feeling down and makes the depression grow even deeper. You display a stronger tell in response, etc, etc.

You can cause yourself just as many problems with the tells you put on in pretense of something as you do with 'real' signals. For example, you might be hoping to take the afternoon off work and are pretending to have a cold or headache. After just a very short period of pretense you really will start to feel off-color or even quite ill, simply by reproducing the signals associated with illness.

Now what's so incredible about this of course is that you are meant to be the one doing the fooling here. You aren't doing this to a subject who has no knowledge of suggestion, you know you aren't ill. All you're doing is play-acting with the full knowledge that you aren't really sick at all. But the acting out of the correct posture, expression and voice of an ill person will be based on your previous knowledge of what it's like to be ill. In simply acting out how it feels to be ill you're inflicting some of the actual symptoms of illness upon yourself. You just start to feel a bit off-color at first, then suggestion does the rest.

You create, even in the face of your own knowledge of your actual well-being, a real illness.

Re the first part of your post. I think it can only go so far if it's not genuine. Underlying issues if not dealt with will leak.

It's my Subconscious mind that is making me feel inadequate.

In which case delve into the root causes of these feelings of inadequacy to bring them into conscious awareness. Then you can start to release them. For most people these root causes have their origin in childhood experiences and how we were treated by our parents. Bringing these subconscious feelings to the surface may require professional help, for example hypnotherapy. Just be aware that some therapists are better than others, so find one whom you are happy with.

Regarding the original post, there is truth in this. At the same time, it is difficult to sustain a cheerful confident outlook if our subconscious is sending us messages that we are inadequate and unworthy and we do not deserve happiness. For me, this has always been the issue with using affirmations. Many of us may affirm one thing while our subconscious is telling us the opposite. At some point we need to deal with any self-sabotaging subconscious tendencies.

Peace

This is what I wrote on another thread:

The way I understand it, everything I perceive is my own subconscious' creation. My subconscious co-creates a reality with all other co-participants, but that isn't a reality that "there is", but a blueprint.

What each participant perceives is the creations of the other participants, and not an objective reality.

If I imagine myself in a certain situation, intensely enough, the co-creators, including my subconscious will interpret it as being part of the reality, and start including it in their perceptions of the reality, becoming part of the blueprint. This is how and why affirmations are supposed to work.

The "conscious I", has the free-will to imagine anything. The issue is that each "conscious I" has a set of beliefs, some of them personal, some of them shared. When beliefs and wishes conflict, the stronger ones determine the reality the subconscious creates and presents to the "conscious I" through the senses. If the conscious thought / wish is strong enough (intensity, not time) it can override any belief, personal or shared.

So I have to be a fake person in order to win friends and respect? No thanks, I'd rather be friends with someone who takes me for who I truly am. To be frank, I've had enough of that phony sh#t where I have to act contrary to my principles in order to get a date or to get people to like me. And then I'm not even speaking about depression and social anxiety, which makes it impossible to force a smile at will.

I'd like to add: Why would I even WANT to live up to such high demands of others?

I have to agree with Iamthat,

But slayer of light has a point.if people cant take you for what you are they are not worth knowing


Namaste

This has been a ongoing inner conflict within myself. I'm dependant on my Mom Cause I still live with her my dad even for the most part has always been absent epsically during my formative years. I'd l have been playing out how I want to tell him and his wife(my-so called step mom) how I felt for years . I just don't have the courage it's not he lives in another town or in a different state either. I'm just afraid of the outcome cause he wouldn't care or would never have anything to do with me again. I have been contemplating in my head of the scenarios of how it would go down . I'd love to be more confident in myself and dress up and know that I am just as Beautiful as the next woman too epsically in my hometown. I don't know what is it but I truly feel that others pay attention to me and since I walk and take the city bus I just feel like the people in my neighborhood or around me tend to pick up on my energy . Funny My mom gets on me about dressing down cause she says people still look at me regardless. I normally wear hooded sweatshirts and if my hair is not done I'll wear my hat. I part of me wants to dress up and look cute but another part of me dose not want to. I don't know how to drive or have my liscience so I can't stunt on anyone with a car anyway.

I hope I'm not getting too personal with you all . :hug: :smile: