help
 

Hello.

I am frankly in need of help, I am a mature Chrisitian mystic, I have experienced three powerful extnesions of consciousnesss into the depths of my own unconscious mind and now my soul is very very real to me, I have freed myself from my shadow on two seperate occasion, the last about a year ago with the help of my psychiatrist who acted as my confessor, after this I attained a valid enlightenment, but I also suffer from bi polar disorder, I developed a psychosis which damaged my brain and recently I spent 5 weeks hallucinating strongly while in a mental illness unit, I used to look for signs from my God but now I am concerned in case they are just hallucinations, I have a psychitarist, but she knows nothing about the unconscious mind, she only thinks of the physical brain. I need help from the rarest of people, a master, someone who has freed themselves from their own shadow, can anyone help please?

Thank you

Richard

never mind

There's all the advice you need, right there, Eden Workshops!

My uncle lost his marbles once and ended up spending a month or two in a psychiatric ward . When he flipped and lost himself and his mind, he never felt as powerful as he did .

He was there in his mind, butt he wasn't at the same time .

He somehow managed to get people in the ward to do what he wanted by suggesting they do so in his mind .

This energy lasted for a matter of days before he regained a firmer sense of himself.

It is really a difficult call to say what is really happening when one hasn't a sound foundation of the mind in reflection of themselves .

There are so many levels to getting at the heart of oneself and where does one begin? Where is the point of that beginning had when engaged into action .

I suppose if one can't find a way to begin then asking or sorting for help is the course of action .

If counsellors and psychiatrists are found to not help then that will tell you something .

If you can't trust your own intuition or the psychiatrists then it's a difficult situation . The only point I can make is that it is by no accident that you find yourself in this situation .

What you do or don't do will be by no accident either ..

Either way something always turns up ..


x daz x

Hi Richard

As you say, a true Master is the rarest of people. All I can suggest is that just as the cause of your suffering is within you, so the solution to your suffering is within. So perhaps you do not need any signs from your God or even the assistance of a master. Find that still space within your heart and abide in that space, for in that space there is peace and the ending of all suffering.

Peace.

I posted in your identical other thread. Re-posting here...


I agree with iamthat. I'll just add my 2cents, because I have been through psychosis after becoming enlightened and specifically, after meeting God.

You mentioned bi-polar. Do you think perhaps your "enlightened self" has been split from your "normal self"?

I've thought about this before, because I am certain this happened to me. For a while after becoming enlightened, my normal personality was still there, but separate from my "enlightened self". I transcended my ego, my mind, my body. I was outside it. I had a deep sense of self held outside physical reality. My body and mind still worked the same way it always did, same personality, but I separated my sense of self from it.

What did this mean? It meant I basically had a split-ego. I didn't realize at the time that my "transcended self" was actually still ego. This split-ego business is tricksy stuff, it's already starting to sound like an illness, right?

So how did I fix that? Nonduality helped me fix it. Not-two. I stabilized myself in the absolute, nondual truth. Which means a lot of things at once.

1) The witness, and the appearances happening to the witness are not two, but one. Like light to a TV screen, they become one. They are one.

2) From the nondual perspective, there is only YOU. There is not YOU and another person. There is not YOU and another personality. There is not YOU and appearances happening to you. There is only YOU.

3) All dualities become irrelevant. Up and down, You and I, good and bad, this and that. Things just are what they are.


To stabilize in the nondual truth was an important step for me. Everything just kinda mellowed out after a little while and left me in one miraculous event called Life. I can still remove myself from my body at any time. As in, I can move my sense of self out of my body and mind and I become untouchable. (Note: I don't stay there, because I've got a mission at hand, I can't just leave)

But to stabilize in the nondual truth is when you become "The Limitless One".


I hope this helps, much love!

Your process is unique to you, so its difficult to point you towards anything other than it seems that your body is opening you as you need for you. It sounds like your challenging yourself a little deeper now, which is a good thing, your questioning yourself and your own process. This is a good for you considering what your dealing with. When you do this, you immediately open up the potential of more for yourself, a new window and view to come into being, beyond what you have known previously of yourself. This is all part of the process, which is really important as I recal for myself when I felt like I was "losing my mind" not knowing what was real, what wasn't real. What you are within yourself as a process contained, will unfold step by step, as you need to understand before you take the next step. And it seems you have a support network which is important even as you walk things through and start building deeper awareness of yourself as you can be and become.

WHen I was going through a faster manifestation process, uprooting deeper my own psyche, undergoing many mystical experiences at the same time, I wondered what the voices, external projections I was going through meant, but while going through them they served me, until the next stage opened. The key is even as things changed in me to know more, those steps in process were important to get me through and stay with the process as m body needed, for whatever reason they were that way. AT times I was in conversations with voices inside me, living in a very altered reality, but in hindsight I see the process I went through was important to be where I am right now. Meaning even as many thought I was going crazy, hallucinating, projecting an altered skewed reality outwardly, It was my reality in me coming to life as I needed. Everything that came up and I walked through, was intended to be to show me more, open me to clear and have a bigger picture to move me to the next stage.

I don't know what your next stage is about, I can sense through your own words your taking charge more so, which I remember is a leap of faith point to trust yourself a little more in that inner knowing. One thing I learned that even as my reality was skewed and altered, my process served me completely as it all unravelled. I didn't end up in a psychiatric ward, I had to do it alone (well not completely alone, I had spiritual support through many of my mystical experiences one with this process)
When you enter a higher state of opening and healing, that process of understanding deeper you in this way, serves to build a sustained abundant view of you beyond what you are as a human being. Its all preparation to show you more of you beyond what you know of yourself as the shadow aspects. For me the rise to understand the greater aspects of my human existence, supported me to come back down slowly and with safety into my process deeper. So everything served me and I was ready through each process, step by step.

Trusting in your unfolding but always honouring that shift in yourself to add to the picture as trust in yourself is important to what comes next. When your in the hands of others supporting you, those little glimpses of "you" questioning and asking, reaching out differently give rise to new space in you, new ideas and new direction. So trust yourself and trust where it leads you.

That is how I got through and I hope this helps you in some small way.:hug3:

Hi Richard

I've spent most of my Life with mental health issues, I'm borderline schizophrenic and didn't have the best of beginnings to Life, which left me with all kinds of issues to resolve. I've also worked in mental health and seen things that'll haunt me for a long time to come. I also struggle with reality some days, feeling totally disassociated with everything and everyone around me. Anyways...

I don't think you ever truly 'master' your dark side and most people don't even want to acknowledge it, being less-than-perfection is one thing but admitting there's a balance to 'the Light' side of ourselves is something else. I have a friend who is bi-polar and she manages to cope with it rather than master it, and although it's disconcerting for the first time the people around her have become used to it. Acceptance and acknowledgement seems to be the key, most are never quite the same again and fighting it only means there's more to fight against. When you accept and acknowledge your dark side - whatever that is - as part of you it puts an end to the conflict inside yourself.

As with many metal health conditions somehow you find coping mechanisms, like recognising any warning signs and dealing with them as they happen as best you can. The other option isn't always pretty. My wife had a stroke a few years back and the blood supply to parts of her brain were cut off, that caused those parts to die. What we did is use the neuroplasticity of the brain to 'retrain' it, what happens is the brain creates new pathways and new ways for the signals to get around.

My own dark side is very much 'still here' and because of it I've done things I'm not proud of, but I've found a deep inner peace and come to terms with myself and what I'm capable of. The good thing about banging your head against a brick wall is that it feels great when you stop. My own reality is very much 'on the fringes' still but that gives me a whole different perspective, and it's much more fun. My dark side isn't scary, I find it a haven in a world that has no place for me. After having spent so much time coming to terms with it, what triggers it is the legacy of the primordial survival instincts. While that may seem a strange thing for a 'Spiritual person' to admit to we all have those instincts regardless. You can't run away from yourself.

Hallucinations are often the images of the subconscious made conscious or the conscious mind trying to escape a reality it simply can't deal with, real or not they can often tell you things about yourself. Come time - when you begin to stop fighting with yourself you can start working with your hallucinations. I've worked with my own and other people's hallucinations and what they seem to be is the subconscious sending 'messages' to the conscious mind in the way it happens with dreams and the sleeping mind. Hallucinations can also be psychic in nature and it might well be that what is mistaken for hallucinations the connection to an alternate reality or a Spirit connection such as clairvoyance.

If you want to understand more I'd suggest you have a look at the work Carl Jung did, he seems to be one of the foremost experts and he practised what he preached - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcWOUV77m24
Alan Watts is a very well respected Spiritual person so for him to talk of Jung kind of 'validates' Jung within Spirituality. If you prefer something of a more Spiritual flavour Teal Swan is worth checking out -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s8I3yq-Kmo


Good luck out there.

There are three aspects of your own self to get straight. Once these are ironed out, you can move past the thorn of suffering caused by all non-virtues / imbalance. From a Christian view of Genesis 1, Good and Evil are better defined as function and non-function in the original Hebrew. Here is function:

1) Right View by Identity

Your identity produces your view. If you know yourself to be the source of all creation before creation began, then you have found your first face. Look from these eyes.

2) Right Nature

Your first nature is that of Love, or Neutral (non-judgment / attachment) and Positive (only Love and Unity with all things). Look up the Sanskrit term Dzogchen.

3) Right Unity

In view of the other two, when set correctly into your mind, unity with all of creation is then seen clearly, leaving you no desire for wrong view and no attachment to wrong desire. Focus on your nature in meditation, which is the dimension above the lower six realms of Samsara (Time and Space). Imbalance and non-function are true to degrees for us all here in life, but in meditation, you are bypassing all six lower dimensions to enter Learning, or the seventh dimension to the tenth dimension. YOU are the tenth.

Look around you. North, South, East, West, Past, Present, Future, Above as Below. Where are you? None of those and all of those.

YOU are inside--the last place to look. Balance, Unity, Love and perfection are there. Bring that part back out.

I have all of this written here, and in three other books: Start with the book, Enlightenment and Ritual. LINK

In the book, I describe Sanskrit and Hebrew as Feminine and Masculine. Both need to be know to understand either. Sanskrit is the great mother. Hebrew is the Father and Son. The Son is YOU, or Buddha (mind awakening).

Free yourself of your shadow? Wouldn't that mean to free yourself of a part of yourself?
I am not a master at all, but I would say: Accept your shadow as a part of yourself. Embrace it. Love it, unconditionally. So that you can love yourself as the whole you.