Fred.
 

Hi

We lost one of our stewards from the local museum where I do project work, a few days ago.

I've spent quite a lot of time with him this last year or 6 months.

I'm left with a few questions


1) Although those who could do, did what we could, he was in a lot of pain; which he just didn't deserve.

2) At various nursing homes I visited him at I saw so much pain....why is it often necessary for the elderly to go through this.

(I did witness an elderly lady being lifted onto a bed......I do hope this doesn't sound disrespectful but I couldn't help thinking of her as a 25 year old bouncing around a ballroom 70 years ago).



I have felt lousy today, for no accountable reason, which I(we) think is a grief reaction.

It's natural to feel off when we suffer a loss. I suppose its just our way of processing things.

Life is a continuum. Dear Fred has left this life and emerged anew in the next life - restored to youth and vigour, free of pain and reunited with loved ones.
Take heart at that.

Human life is much like the changing of the seasons. Spring - summer - autumn - winter. And then, Spring again ...
The secret and the promise of spirit. No death, but rebirth in another guise.

"The meaning of sorrow and its beauty".... In the physical, one can see nothing positive. But in the spiritual, one learns empathy, compassion and understanding, and indeed stoicism and strength of spirit.
There is a purpose and reason for everything.

I guess so.

:cool:



I sense that you have rather more faith i that than I have:dontknow: :laughing1: but thanks for writing.


:cool: :cool:

My mother passed away 4 weeks ago today and my brain hasn't been working well since. I'm constantly tired and drained. I often ask myself "what should I be feeling? What should I be doing?" the answer is…anything I feel like. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Fred had the help of you and others in his last months. You most probably made his life happier.

That was the intention.

His wife has been dead for a long time and his contact/relations/support with his daughter's disappointing. Ian (mus manager) and I did our best.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum, I think you do need to treat yourself carefully with is one.

That is all anyone can ask of you and others…you did your best by him. More than his own family by the sounds of it.

I know I need to be careful. I have an awful habit of sucking up emotion, being there for others but never needing anyone myself. This may come out wrong but…I wouldn't of wanted her to die any other way. It was quick and painless…think we would all like to go that way too.

One daughter came to him in the last week. The other one, no nothing.






No, completely understood.

My Grandfather died quietly in his sleep, no illness.

It was a shock to us all but he did have a quick clean exit!



I suck stuff up too.

Sudden death is best I think for the person concerned. I think its just a shock for those left behind. But having said that…as we've both said, its much better that way than having to watch a loved one suffer.