Question for Empaths: How do you cope with negativity?
 

Hi all,

I'm hoping this is not a too controversial topic as it is not meant this way at all.

Sometimes in my everyday living I'm confronted by negative feelings of my dear fellow humans, and I just have difficulties to cope with them. They just flood over me, sometimes the difficulties are because I can't separate the feelings from my own, sometimes it is because I refer it to myself somehow.

I know it helps to understand that most of the negativity coming from others is because they have problems with themselves, and I'm not really the source of it. And I'm trying to have compassion and not referring it to myself, but this is so hard for me. I just don't know how to cope with it.

Any tips or thoughts?

Thank you so much in advance.

Hello,

You seem to have the right perspective already. Compassion for self and others is the best path to follow in my view.

Real coping skills are best evolved by consulting the expert on such matters. How involved are you with your higher self?

John

Basically what you said is my trained thought process.

I still get triggered from time to time. Family and children occasionally but for the most part I have a very analytical mind. Without it I would have never been able to reduce others actions as quickly as I did. But everything to me is temporary. Someone being mad at me will pass or people acting out of emotion.
I know after way to much thought that it is definitely their fault. Everyone really does have a choice to be happy. So I keep choosing to control me. And it gets a little easier every day.

Much of the most negative people in my life can’t approach me with anger or discontent. They don’t get a reaction out of me. And they end up walking themselves into more trouble with those actions.

By controlling my perspective of anything, I’m doing two things. Taking away control that the outside situation has over me. And I’m not feeding off of any negative energy. You must first be empathetic to a situation or person to absorb some of their current state. And by not feeling sad or angry you’re protecting yourself from being a sponge for others emotional issues. You can still be a kind ear to those in trouble and give comforting words without feeling emotional over their situation. It also helps to calm them down when you’re actively controlling your state.

As an empath it is vital to first be grounded. That will help with dealing with emotions and feelings like this. It is also beneficial to shield to help filter out unwanted energies that we can pick up. As well as clearing our energy frequently during the day, and cutting cords from energies we pick up. As we are gonna pick them up. Pick them up all the time.

From there discernment can help you. So you can help you understand if these emotions/feelings are yours or if they are external from you. It can also help if these situations to try and step out of it. To allow it to be first. To not get caught up in it right away so it doesn't consume you. So don't just jump and judge the thought. Which then starts to turn into judging of self. That's where that compassion and understanding come into play.

Thank you all for your kind words, I learned a lot from you! <3

Not understanding proper psychic protection and grounding, I use to escape the feelings by drinking alcohol (bad idea), which helps numb and takes the edge off of the cacophony of feelings grading against me like sand paper rubbing against raw skin, but in the long run, it can make things hurt much worst...

What I have learned now is that I can bring presence and awareness to the energy and feelings I am sensing, but I can also let it pass through me without internalizing it and having it trapped in my body or energy field. If I am grounded and spiritually centered I can be in a vibration where I still sense what's happening around me, but I am no longer at the mercy of it, I have an anchor through my soul. Meditation helps bring stillness and practice staying grounded and centered.

Visualization helps a lot also. I sometimes envision myself sort of like a transparent being of light and the feelings, thoughts, energies, etc. flow through me. Nothing of low vibration will stick onto me, they just pass through. Another visualization technique that comes to mind is picturing myself as a sturdy lighthouse that is being bombarded by stormy waves. The powerful waves just washes over me, but it doesn't overwhelm me. I am peaceful and center observing the ocean in tranquility. :)

Lighthouse, nice coincidence :)

I was looking for a song for many years and just found it recently.
Lighthouse was the only word I could remember.

Unfortunately I'm not allowed to post the link to the song, you will have to paste and copy it to your browser if you want to.

metacafe.com/watch/8149316/when_you_come_back_to_me_again_garth_brooks/


Honestly I don't know how to do this. If I'm encountering people with negative energies in my daily life, I will just feel what they are like. It's like telling someone NOT to see the pink elephant in the room, it's almost impossible for me not to see it. Or it's like telling someone NOT to smell a terrible smell, I just don't know how to do this. I'm trying to ignore it so much, but it just doesn't work.

Maybe someday I will learn to be so compassionate that I will understand everybody's negative emotions, even negative emotions directed at me, but right now I'm not at a level where I'm able to do that. Maybe someday.

Thank you all very much for your responses.

One problem I have with being empathetic is that I may not realize that the feelings and thoughts I initially believe are mine are actually those of someone near me I am not even conscious of.

A good example, feeling strong sexual attraction I have panned the environment wondering who I am feeling attracted to. I stop at someone who I typically find nothing about them to be attractive and end up starring for a few moments as I comprehend what is happening. Then at about the same time we both realize who has been caught being attracted to who. And that person looks away embarrassed.

One day I was walking through a store with my girlfriend who was a psychic on the radio. She got a big laugh when it turned out to be a man attracted to me. She had picked up on the scene and the vibe as it unfolded.

I still have not mastered grounding myself at will / on call. I have dealt with it by distancing myself from people and living and working near the ocean as it cleanses the energy and lends a healing vibe.

Ah Mirea I'm the same as you! I pick everything up from others, often leaving me confused and drained if their energy was very negative and repressed. I'm like a sponge. Needless to say I need a lot of time alone to recharge and refresh and find my own center.

Grounding, as others here have said, is the key word. What helps me is doing practical things that need doing, like cleaning or taking care of my dogs or garden. Nothing too taxing, and preferably something hands on.

Another helpful technique for me is being aware of my breath. As soon as I realize that I'm again picking up on 'vibes' I remember my breath. Feel my breath, in and out, feel it, follow it, be aware of it. I centers and calms me and also helps me understanding where these emotions came from.

Also important is, as I already said above, to take time out, be alone. When another person is too overwhelming for me and I feel I can't handle it I distance myself physically. For example, if my husband is in a terrible mood and directs it at me, I leave the room. I come back after a while when he is a bit calmer and I have found my center point again.

I'm still learning ...

I am extremely empathic too. For a long time I struggled like you to cope with taking in the energies of those I came in contact with, or the situations I would view with struggles going on in the world and todays society. It almost got to a point that I could not watch the news if there was any devestating catastrophe that occurred because it would take me weeks to get it out of my system what I would feel. One thing I could say that helped me in grounding myself was to stand or sit outdoors with my bare feet in the grass and envision all the energies that I took in that weren't my own leaving me and pushing it all out through my fingertips to release it. My feet being in contact with mother earth allowed me to easily envision my energies connecting to her like the roots of a plant going deep into the ground. I know this may sound crazy but it worked for me and I was able to form a release of whatever I took in that the day would bring my way.