Forgive and Forget or Embrace and Learn
 

Hello

So many times we find blockages where we have this old lesson of forgive and forget. This to me has always seemed like a band aid on a huge wound that needs more. Or like a plugged sink that you just pour some drain cleaner down and open it for a time. It comes back as a block most times.

When I have looked at things as an embrace and learn from it experience and let the Universe of the Divine take its actions on the event of person. Whom am I to pass judgements when I can not walk in that persons shoes ?

There are things in life sorry you can not forgive someone for nor should you forget them as they are a part of your life path and times a part of whom you are or whom you become.

For me 33 years in an abusive relationship (for complex reasons I was not able to walk free from) I took that on as a lesson and I grew from it all, I became stronger from it but I will never forgive the EX for what he did, nor will I forget what he did. It now goes with him in his death, what he did to so many in his life.

I embrace what he gave me and whom I am today and even in his death I am still learning what life is truly all about !

Lynn

I would have to go with embrace and learn, definitely. Love the experience and be positive in heart, mind and soul not letting others thoughts, words or actions shake your foundation.

That is "strength" imo, of the emotional and phycological sort.

utopiandreamchild

There is a lot of truth in what you say Lynn. Forgiving is easy Forgetting is the hardest part


Namaste

The one I have truly forgiven is the extremely abusive partner I've had.
It came totally out of the blue, I was walking towards the shed for something while gardening and it suddenly came over me: pure unconditional love & forgiving. I could hold/see him in that pure love. It was the most wonderful feeling, pure love!

That does, however, not mean that your own scars that were left behind by that person have gone.
I came across those when I was in a new relationship and even though I had expected stuff to surface, it was worse than I had expected!
This is 100% separate though from forgiving that ex partner. What came up where the programs that I myself created within that got triggered when I was in a new connection. So I had to learn to deprogram these.
But again, that has nothing to do with forgiving the person that made you create those survival programs. The ex had nothing to do with that anymore, when I forgave him that one day our connection was totally severed, in love.

Thinking forgiving means your own leftover 'debris' is also miraculously gone is not understanding what forgiving means or is.
If things come up time and again it may be helpful to see if it is one such 'program', your own creation and knee-jerk reaction, or if maybe you didn't forgive that person after all.

I've never been able to forgive anyone else. It is the most profound, deep feeling of love when you truly forgive someone.
I so wish I could forgive certain people, but I can't. In those cases you may let time edge off the worst of the pain, sort of forget about it. But then it can all be dragged up again in full force from the mud you hid it under, and get you totally out of whack.
But then you have not forgiven the person either.

I want it with certain people, but it is not something you can achieve with wanting it, you cannot will it. And in all honesty, with some I secretly don't want to because I'm still angry with them. It's this mostly subconscious feeling of not wanting to let them of the hook.
When you truly forgive it is the purest feeling of love you've ever experienced.
:hug3:

I LOVE that there is a thread started on this. :icon_cool:

I must say - I feel like an expert on forgiveness since I spent decades NOT being able to forgive my father, (but, needing to!).
I went to therapy with 3 diff therapists, read Christian books, New Agey type books, prayed to be able to forgive him,
yelled at his spirit to release anger,
intellectualized why he was this way with me (not my sister),
tried to understand his childhood during the Depression and mean father, etc.

Then, one day 'out of the blue' - but, of course, nothing is 'out of the blue' ---esp after decades of this pressing issue effecting my relationships mostly...
I was finally free one Saturday morning a few years ago.

How this happened would be a Part 2 later.
..........
For lesser offenses, usually hurtful things that can happen with friends, later - ACIM, A Course In Miracles changed the entire paradigm
of 'what forgiveness is all about'....it sure is not
what you'd think, mostly instilled in people from Christian concepts over centuries.
PS ACIM is a channeled course from Jesus, quite astounding and brilliant.

PS Fairy Crystal posted AS I was writing...funny. :)

Through the eyes of Pure unconditional Love all these matters get resolved or dissolved.
So when we can see from a higher perspective and get a more Loving picture
Forgiving and Embracing and Learning become automatic..
Forgetting not so much.
For in the learning we see we still need one eye open at all times around some people or situations.:wink:

I needed Divine help from a passed on Loved one to help me Forgive my Father.
I was fine with blaming him and letting him "lay in his own bed" until my Sister
whom I never met came and helped me see from a whole new perspective.
What a weight I carried for so many years,,Blah.

This is the best way at this time I could find to express my experience.
Also when I say "we" I mean me and my guides,since we are a team:smile:
PEACE

Forgive and forget is a favor you do to yourself. I don't see it doing anything to those who hurt you. But it helps you to embrace and learn. Those who hurt you are on their own karmic trajectory and there is nothing we can do about it. Karma acts on its own time and there is no easy escape from it.

Ah-ha, the reverse: Being forgiven myself.
 

I dunno, kris.

I'd like to be forgiven for something..I don't know if I would be this life.
I turned someone into their Professional Disciplinary Board.
Oh my, was she doing something so illegal, unethical and just wrong.
I didn't say double billing Ins., tho.
There were less severe ways of handling it.
But, No, I took that road! :rolleyes: It was yrs ago.

I wish on her deathbed she would leave me a message - "Btw, I forgave you for that."
Whew! That would be a load off. We're actors in a stage, right?

I've talked to God that, " I'm sorry...don't make me relive this in my Life Review? Be a pal....and drop it?" :icon_pale:
That makes me laugh, which is good.

Sounds as though it was the right thing to do, as long as that's the case there's no need for forgiveness imo.

utopiandreamchild

I think that we all do things that we feel guilty for but worrying about it doesn't do any good.
my Grandmother always said what is done is done. it is in the past
you have to focus on the future.
How you act now will Determine your future.
So always treat others as you will want to be treated yourself


Namaste