How to not be attracted to someone who resembles your parents
 

It's automatic. I can't help it. I am always deeply attracted and fall in love with someone who are like my parents. I don't know what to do.

You may be partially attracted to a person who resembles your parents because it may help you feel more secure. If that's the case you may be able to lessen the that type of attraction gradually over time. If the attraction is wholly hardwired then there is little you can do to change it. In that case it's light a light switch either on or off. I know several women who are attracted to guys who are like their father I guess it's common.

It was both my parents combined in one person and it was a difficult decision. I ended up leaving the person because it was too distracting and confusing. I couldn't function well not even proceed with the friendship it was too intense.

Yikers. Girls do seem to go for their father types. But guys go for the exact opposite of their mothers

Really? I think I have seen them have a complex where they look for a wife/mother-to-be who is like their mom, but then they want to mess around with a wild girl/bad girl whom they would not marry an deep down don't respect her. There's kind of a split there.
Maybe it's like a split with you too, Galtrav. If a parent was neglecting or absent or mean part of the time people often look for a partner who can heal that split. The child develops a sense that they caused it - because ironically that gives them a sense of control and hope, and they can end up with a lifelong drive to repeat the relationship until they get the loving side of the parent back.

yep i no
i

Subconscious mind needs a quick release - both mentally and emotionally. You keep being triggered until you have cleared yourself.

I don't want anyone with similar traits or the same zodiac sign a Aries as my father. I'd rather not deal with any guy born under that sign period.

I don't have any standards cause I don't know what I'm looking for in a ideal partner yet I have not been in a relationship to know what I want. I'm in the process for the first time of being in a relationship with myself .

I don’t think you can initially control whom you find attractive..
What you CAN do is not act upon it any further or generate those feelings upwards through meditation.:wink:

But is it 'bad' though to fall in love with someone who resembles your parents?
Are there perhaps positive characteristics in your parents that you would like to see in others?

Oh dear. You really think we're all the same just because we're born in the same month..?!:smile:

Hi @GalTrav, speaking from a Buddhist perspective, you can contemplate "is a relationship with this person for my long term benefit"? Then it might be easier to ignore the attraction (that you will feel on the short term whether you like it or not :-) ).

Best regards,
Maarten

I was the same until I read a book called 'father healing.' Literally everything that once attracted me to older men like my father dissipated (Thank god)! I recommend figuring out what it is that you are attracted to. Unless your parents are good people then you have nothing to worry about.

No I shouldn't have these preconceived notions based on my own experiences of upbringing that's not fair at all .

I could never be attracted to any guy that resembles my father or has a similar personality to his. I don't have the best relationship with my father as it is. I mean the dynamic could change but I would have to take the initiative . Anyway I don't want anyone like my parents.

Here's a shot-in-the-dark suggestion, and please be advised that I have no idea what I am talking about when it comes to Freudian matters like this.

Ok here goes..... Try introducing this person to your parents. If your parents don't like this person then they probably see a part of themselves in this person that they don't like, which means, you are probably subconsciously rebelling from your parents.

If they do like this person then it could be a myriad of reasons why you find this person attractive. In this case you're going to have to pinpoint the traits that are similar, and do some inner work on why you find each trait attractive.

We can only speculate but "deep down" you have the answer.

Hello

I would look to what aspects of childhood and the relationship with your parents you need to clear and maybe move on from. The attraction could be more a life path lesson on not making the same mistakes.

Lynn

hmmm this is tricky honestlly my dad is a really wise man a smart man but he chose a path of drugs and alcohol that led to being in and out of prison pretty much all my life and right now he is currently out and has been out of the joint for quite a few years and i am happy for him but there is still that part of me that thinks he will eventually end up there again. with saying that i could not date a man like that big turn off.

I think this.

It needs to be released in a safe way.

I don't have the best relationship with my Dad. I don't think I'd want to be attracted to someone who resembles my dad in any shape; physical appearance wise, mannerisms, characteristics ect. But you know what is weird ? that ironically there is this one particular west coast rap group that I listen to and some of the members remind me of my dad . I'm not at state of growing and maturing and I have "Father Issues" I hate that term and I don't need to be with a potential partner who has their life together and is on a higher vibration frequency. I have to work on my myself, and I don't want to bring that type of unresolved baggage and dump it on to anyone if I ever got into a relationship it would not be fair.

Last couple of months made me realized I have "daddy issues". I used to think those are reserved for women but it seems not.

My dad was great father and always there but he was also a broken man with addiction problems. So subconsciously i think i was always into broken women, couldn't save daddy so save someone else. Of course that's impossible, everyone can only save themselves.

But here is the twist- i actually never went for a broken one because i was always too smart for my own good. Probably the reason it took me this long to figure it out. So all my relationships were kind of "meh". Not too bad but not to great either, was I really into it? Deep down, no.

Parents...what can you do.

It is sub-conscience.

I feel however, some can be changed if you're able to go within, as the first reply points out. Finding out what is deep seeded in why or how you attract them, in why they're like your parents. What gives you that comfort. & comfort does not always mean positive, comfort is just what you know...and it is why some people will attract the same abuse. It can get twisted quickly. I am not saying someone wants to be hurt, but if that is all they know, they will continue to attract it, because there is some level of comfort in it. I'm not saying this is your issue, I am just pointing it out.

How to not be attracted to someone who resembles your Parents? : There is this one rapper from a west coast rap group called Souls of Mischief who resembles my father epsicially the forehead, eyes, and mouth area. It is crazy because he is a taurus born in april and my dad is a aries born in april.