"Love yourself, child"
 

So I recently had a life-changing spiritual experience in which I was able to speak with my spirit guide via my friend who channeled them while under hypnosis. The things they said were just too relevant to me for me to believe it was anything but my actual spirit guide (and believe me, I'm normally a very skeptical person).

We spoke of many things, but above all, my guide seemed very intent on telling me that I needed to love myself more. This confused me, as I thought I had a fairly normal self esteem. But at the same time, I know that I have a fear of responsibility and of wanting to live in this world, so maybe there is some sort of self-hatred causing that?

I thought a lot about it, and I think now that maybe my guide was right. I was hoping maybe you guys might be able to follow my train of thought and tell me what you think:

So I don't want to love myself. I want...well, feel I NEED someone else to do it. But human love isn't satisfying enough to me. I feel I need something beyond that. Something supernatural. I crave the love from my spirit guide and God, because that love is unconditional. Unlike my parents' love, which was very conditional at times. I crave all this love, but not from myself. I would rather die than truly love myself, and I don't really know why. This need for self-destruction seems to go even beyond my craving for love. I want to destroy myself even on a soul-level. I would rather not exist than love myself and live my life.

Any thoughts on this would be very much appreciated. I think I'm on the cusp of figuring things out and healing some very deep wounds.

When we say we love, its that we accept for a while the person as a whole for who they are. The same goes for us, to love yourself is to accept who you are, be kind to yourself and discover what it is that motivates your actions, emotional states etc but without judgement. Get to know the real you by honestly observing the whole you, your thoughts and how your feelings fluctuate...give yourself some undivided attention. You might get to like what you see.

Self love is merely self acceptance. Accepting all of you. The good, the bad, the indifferent, the hateful, the hurtful, the accepting, the sensitive, the insensitive.

I think you get the picture.

love beyond the pushing and shoving and yanking and
scooting and yelling and butting, that's woah. where do
we get love from. a taste of the rainbow of knowing things.
for instance our conviction that about the positive vibes
we have had today are be buddha and them accepted.
even if frightened people about such ties don't have got
a clue. and if frightened people about such ties don't got
a clue, the world still vibes and thrives, and you can go
along with the part of that too

and are we up to buddha and them, be the reason we
count it in, and if buddha and them say "sit", such be
cover up. and if buddha and them say "stop it", so that
be a mighty fine reason

who be buddha and them. a rockabye to me thou.
because what be up be a ponderer from this twist
of a world we might be in, but i assume does got
a extra mane with doing that a be lovely

was this another meal about as hunger for god's word, no dumb doubt in my mind

or let me ask you, your massege too be deliciously written, alike the style

if all this be so, this is just another table turn

we got it

move on, rise by such. that's what

hearts for this do score me

yup, buddha es un mono, especial,
lo queremos y da de su presencia

that's a good read

trying like that feels good, thou

i agrea luv yore slf its thng i nevr did i luvd othrs but not me

Self love is something I am working on myself. I remember having it long ago and am working on embracing it once again. I have no advice though. Just letting ya know you are alone on that journey to self love.

why should we not count as
another heroe to be loved by
the self, since we adore to
devote on - well. we need
to know we exist as everyone
else. love to the self be the
beginning, i assume.

------------------