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-   -   Walk-in or bipolar episode? (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=55293)

skyritz 11-08-2013 04:14 AM

Walk-in or bipolar episode?
 
I feel like this wasn't bipolar because I never had a psychotic break, I never felt depressed and was very calm throughout even though I had more energy.

A few years back I was making money for the first time in my life and feeling very successful... then all of a sudden I started getting this energy inside me that would build. and build.. and build.

This lasted for about 6 months. My eyes felt as if they had a slight pressure on the back of them. My mouth was always sort of dry, and I lost about 20lbs. I felt great though... just altered. Someone on a forum mentioned I was being dosed with adhd meds without knowing but this is impossible and not true-- last year for about 10 seconds the feeling came back where my mouth went dry and I felt the energy surge, but then went away after drinking water and eating breakfast.

Anyway, during this shift I went to Europe and felt like I wasn't just in Europe, but was seeing the transformations it had gone through and seeing how everything is transitory... it was a surreal experience, very spiritual for me, but dark as well. It felt immensely humorous, because I could see that the social programs had quelled aggression and competitiveness in both males and females, and it seemed Europeans cared more about looking cool and cafes than creating families and making money. It felt like the children of WW2 had inherited the region and decided to make a fairyland by financing it with debt that was not sustainable, but was sustainable enough for them to reach old age, which was all they cared about.

I just wouldn't have felt this way before the energy, or thought it was that funny. I don't know how to explain what it felt like. I just felt connected for the first time since I can remember, and people treated me much better because I suppose I was much more engaging.

I did not fear, and any fear I should have felt, I felt emboldened by it. I didn't second guess myself very much, my head was very empty of doubts and I was like a direct laser towards anything. I met a girl who convinced me to eat something I shouldn't (Amsterdam) and poof... that night as I was going to bed I felt my armor falling off piece by piece, and I started hallucinating in my pre-sleep seeing every face I had seen the day of. It was very uncomfortable.

The next day I was weak, emotionally raw, insecure and basically, the exact opposite of what I was the day before.

The next year I went through the worst depression of my life... I gained about 30lbs also, and the past few years I have been getting pieces of how I used to be back, with some improvements. But it is not how it used to be, even though I get hints of that feeling every once in a while.

Two days after my 'shield' went down, I went on a night train to a different country and when I woke up time felt sped up... this frightened me but my first instinct was to get food ASAP because I thought it could be low-blood sugar (hadn't eaten that night on the train). People seemed to be walking 3x the speed, I felt like I was walking 3x the speed and it freaked me out.

I got a slice of pizza and time went back to normal, but it felt different, like before I had my 6-month alteration. It was depressing. I felt like joe schmoe again.

I have never been diagnosed as anything, I have never been called crazy. Something just shifted in me and I have been trying anything to get it back. It was a complete shield from feeling bad emotions... it was as if any bad emotion would be turned into a positive somehow. It felt like I had something with me, working with me, for that 6 month period. I didn't feel invaded per say, but I did feel connected to something powerful.

This is a subjective experience so it is impossible to explain what it felt like, but maybe if you have had similar experiences you can help me find out what it could have been. People have said mania episode, kundalini awakening, etc.

What strikes me as odd about it was it felt like I had a grasp of some type of energy that was a shield of some sort. Whatever was going on gave me power and this came across in my voice too. One story, I was in a hostel and I said to 3 other guys in the room, "Guys what is the shower situation in the morning? First to wake up gets it?" and one guy says "Yeah". That night a guest in the room had a nightmare where he kept saying, "I'll shower whenever I want!!" and it woke me up. He was clearly upset over the question. I know this sounds stupid, but this sensation/effect amplified any thought or intention I had, to where it created noticeable changes in people I interacted with either positive or negative. Another example was three Jamaican accented men were standing by a building and as I tried to walk by one of them backed up to cut me off. Another asked for a cigarette. I said no, and he said, "Why not man?!" and I go "Because I said no." They then are in my path, so I smile and start feeling the energy building uncontrollably. I knew I would get one of them even though they could take me eventually. They figured this out too and walked out of my way. These were very scary looking criminals and they decided it was best to let me go. I don't think this would have happened this way without the energy. I scared them because I was going to enjoy it.

I have many more examples, but I think unless you know what I am talking about it won't make much sense.

Thanks for your input!

Edit: Also some other weird changes. Other than the energy building inside me being immensely pleasurable, during this time I became obsessed with the concept of nature, and how all life is acting within nature according to fundamental rules of nature. My worldview started changing to where I no longer viewed powerful forces as evil, but a direct result of being inside nature with nature not caring, it simply being what it is. I also started understanding debt and finance much better, whereas before I had a hard time understanding debt. The idea of responsibility changed in my mind as well. I felt like I had a grasp of the world much better, and was making money to prove my understanding. I was making wild returns in the stock market. Then after the 'shield' went down after my stupid decision, I ended up losing my competitive edge, had a fear of making money as if I was hurting another by winning a zero-sum game, caved in and lost it all eventually. It was very weak and the opposite of how I felt before. I became nervous, anxious and all around not very pleasant to be around since I was not happy. My worldview then became very dark, and I felt guilty for feeling okay with the concept of nature I had previously accepted and felt euphoria for having accepted. The world made sense for the first time ever because I was emotionally free to accept it. Then I lost that, and feel it was a step down in my own personal evolution.

I am a big believer that science will disprove so much stuff that is thought of as true now in a hundred years, and there is so much more to learn. This is why I keep the door open to spirituality being a key and ask for your help in hopes you know an answer.

For what it's worth, a friend recommended I try a guided meditation where you are supposed to meet your spirit angel. I am agnostic, borderline atheist, but only because I view religions as control mechanisms and have no clue what the facts are. I dislike the idea of a spirit angel, but I did the hour long meditation and in a trancelike state I met it. It was a very scary looking being, with purple, red and black colors. It had a sword, a coat of armor, horns made of armor, black eyes and was standing on a rock in a weird purplish beach. The scene in my trance-state took place at night, with thousands of stars. It pointed at me with the sword. I couldn't help but think this was the being responsible for my energy. Then I thought I was crazy for having tried to connect it, then I thought it was a subconscious creation having had a loss of that energy. Whatever the case is, I think it's important to share that.

becklyn37 11-08-2013 04:25 AM

Have you spoken to a medical doctor about your experience? My first thought would be some sort of brain chemical imbalance. How old were you when these episodes began?

skyritz 11-08-2013 04:44 AM

I haven't, and it's not plural. It happened one time when I was 22. I'm 27 now. Edit: This forum's moderators also do not let certain talk of substances be mentioned, so I have alluded to what I ingested instead of outright saying the word. This is what caused the hallucination (only with my eyes closed, I wouldn't see anything with them open) pre-sleep and ruined this energy feeling/mania/walk-in/whatever it was. This was also the first time I did that and won't do it again.

primrose 19-08-2013 07:42 AM

Skyritz, I'm not being flippant, but it sounds like an LSD "episode" I don't think it sounds like a walk in.I hope you're doing okay now.

CrystalSong 17-11-2013 01:57 PM

Go traveling in foreign countries, it'll happen again (maybe not the Amsterdam part unless you allow that again) but the rest will. Traveling makes up hyper aware, it's just what happens. All my psychic powers are seriously boosted when traveling, it's like running around with a awesome shield on and a radar dish on your forehead, you an even know what's around corners on streets you've never been on before.
Traveling - not touristing.

Try Latin America for a serious rush, pirates, Guirella's, Federales, Cartels, Ladrones, civil insurrections, genocides - the list goes on and on.
Careful tho, it gets addictive, I'm on my second passport and 30th country! Hahaha!!!

Get back on the road again, cause at this point you're just over thinking what travelers learn ad expereince on the road, and why they keep traveling and never want to stop for too long.

sea-dove 12-06-2014 11:02 AM

Im wondering if you "may" of have had some real spiritual kind of experience (I wouldnt call it a walk-in experience thou, maybe you accessed a part of yourself?). A couple of the things you mentioned Ive had similar happen to me.

Quote:

I know this sounds stupid, but this sensation/effect amplified any thought or intention I had, to where it created noticeable changes in people I interacted with either positive or negative. Another example was three Jamaican accented men were standing by a building and as I tried to walk by one of them backed up to cut me off. Another asked for a cigarette. I said no, and he said, "Why not man?!" and I go "Because I said no." They then are in my path, so I smile and start feeling the energy building uncontrollably.

Your experience reminded me of a time when I accidently took the car park of a guy (I missed seeing him waiting for it) and the guy went into road rage. He actually lost his cool so much that he stopped his car right behind me (after flooring his accelerator and almost sliding his car into mine!), and then got out of his car, leaving it blocking a busy main city road. (he was so mad he didnt car that a car could crash into his or the police could see him at any moment)

He came at me, fist clutched, yelling wildly... instead of panicing, I felt I could change this enraged guy situation if i didnt let fear over take me. So I wound my window right down instead of up.. (it was still scary thou!). I then let an energy and feeling like build till I had no fear, in my case it was love and light I used and projected it at the guy who by this point had a fist near coming throu my window. The moment the energy hit him, he like deflated and pulled the hand back which had been headed for my face and started profusing appologising to me instead.. telling me he was happy if I kept the car park, telling me he was sorry for loosing it and that he'd had a very bad day etc (it was interesting..someone about to attack me, nearly throwing themselves at my feet begging for forgiveness).

Anyway.. your situation thou I think you used a different energy then I did .. with the letting the energy build and then using it to help you and also to change the situation.. sounded like it could of been a real change you did to the situation.
......................

Your incident where you ended up in a different time thing to others and your environment around you. That has happened to me but in my case the time around me suddenly goes very slow (and I got to watch other people walk in very very slow motion!!, the cars on the street start moving 10-20 times slower etc).

I think in my case I can only guess it has something to do with my frequency went suddenly out of sync with this worlds but I was still here but this made everything around me go crazily slowly??? (If anyone knows how/why this stuff occurs, please send me a pm about it).

This happened at the time I'd gone interstate and was undergoing 3 days of yogi training with a powerful advanced teacher.
.......

I actually caught this slowing of time around me too one time on tape. I was taping myself trying to channel a high guide and had music playing in the background on a different player. Its a creepy tape to listen too as the music in background starts warping, like if it enters a time warp. It gets slower and slower and ends up slowing down so much that instead of music it becomes long drawn out notes. Thing is, the voice coming out from my body was normal speed. So anyway, this kind of stuff in my case seems to have something to do with my physical body (and mind) going out of sync with the frequency of my surroundings.

Lisbet 20-07-2014 12:05 PM

I think it's interesting. I think even bipolar is an extreme of qualities we are all already capable of. You only need to worry about a disorder like that when it is seriously affecting your life in a bad way.

To me this sounds like a spiritual experience that will help push you to ask more questions and gain new insights. These kinds of experiences can be pretty unique to individuals--probably to ensure we can't just explain them away on preconceived notions, thus giving up the search and returning to our old sleeping selves ;)

jerrygg38 22-01-2015 12:18 AM

Walk in or bipolar
 
I am bipolar which enables me to rise to a high spiritual level in order to communicate with my soul or God. I am usually normal but can go to a manic high. I never get depressed or take any medicine since I enjoy my abilities.
After world war two there were a lot of souls needing refuge. The amount of birth were not sufficient to handle the amount of dead. The result is that many souls found safe haven together in one person. In general the souls are harmonious. Sometimes they are different.
A schizophrenic person may develop multiple personality disorder as each soul takes the lead in driving the persons mind. The bipolar people only experience these multiple souls when they are in a psychotic state.
A long time ago I had a second soul within me. It was a very rabbinic soul. I wanted to be free and it left me. Then my normal communication with the spiritual world decreased.
Some of us have quite evil souls. In general they are heading for the pit of hell at the center of this Earth.They find safe haven for awhile. The religious processes usually cleanses the evil souls from us. Then we are left with our original reincarnated soul.
What you experienced is not insanity. You are able to perceive it because you may be slightly bipolar. Being bipolar enables the physical mind and the spiritual mind to separate. The best cure is a religious cure. You have to cleanse your soul by attending a church or synagogue.
Most of the religions of man can help you since they all serve to reincarnate people. Judaism and Christianity are new Earth centered religions to enable people to achieve the higher new Earth as per Isaiah. You don't need any exorcism since a religious path will slowly cure your condition.

The Taoist 19-01-2016 12:47 AM

Hello” skyritz :



The first intuitive impression I am receiving is...that it was neither a walk in or bipolar event.

What is seen is...an interaction with 'alternate selves and that your energy patterns or personal experiences with these events are perceived as “ghost tracks or traces”.

Now, you hold alternate selves within other dimensions, you also hold counterparts within the same dimension and the same time element. In this, many soul essences choose to enter physical focus non-singularly.

Therefore, within the action of creating one focus, one being, your soul essence may divide the focus into many aspects. Therefore, you may have several other “you’s” occupying the same time/space within the same dimension.

Be realizing that each of these individuals holds their own vitality and individuality. They are you, but they are not you, for they are also themselves; as you are them, but you are not them, for you are yourself; but you are intimately interrelated. The actions that you create within your focus intimately are affecting of those other counterparts which you have chosen to be 'remembering or perceiving' within this focus.

Each alternate self interacts and contributes to the other. They are all the same form. They are all composed of the same elements. They are all influencing of each other, yet they all choose individual actions. Their focus is different.

Therefore, you may encounter many counterparts throughout your lifetime. You may, in actuality at times, encounter more counterparts than not. They are not all the same type of counterpart. Therefore, you shall not experience the same feeling within your engagement of these counterparts. Some you shall feel more strongly, and others may not appear quite so obvious; although most of your interactions, at many times within your focus, are interactions with counterparts.

Counterparts always add to your experience, always complement your experience. Every focus, every manifestation, is new and becoming. It is not previously used.

You have chosen this movement, and you seek and you look for answers and validation of what you see. You ask others for this validation. Therefore, you redirect your faith into what you view to be the common man. I do not express to you that this is not a “good” direction but within the movement of your shift in consciousness, you present yourself with new information of reality.

All individuals present themselves with new information of reality and self. Therefore, it is beneficial for interaction and sharing, but your direction for your attention lies within you. This is your creation. This has been your choice for your experience, and it has served you well.

It appears that you are seeking and you are asking questions, but you wish not to listen to just any answers. Therefore, you choose to receive your answers in what you perceive to be new ways. You develop an interest in self and your own abilities. You label these abilities as psychic, derived from your psyche; which is that element of your consciousness focused within this physical element.

You develop these aspects of the self, but you do not understand what you are developing. You open your consciousness to more information, and you visually, physically view more of reality, but you do not understand how to interpret what you view. Therefore, you continue, and you ask questions, and you fill volumes of books of psychic events, of movement within consciousness. These are all elements of you. They are all elements of your consciousness, and your choice.

It is obvious to you all that something is occurring. I express to you, what is occurring is not extraterrestrials that shall be contacting and interacting with you! You are contacting you. You are choosing to shift your consciousness. As this shift in consciousness gains what you may view as momentum, you shall experience more of your reality.

You hold the ability for a much wider awareness. You are approaching this now. Elements that you view within consciousness to have veils between yourself and them shall not hold these veils any longer. You possess special gifts! You hold this ability.

You, occupy almost half of your existence physically within an altered state; but you do not understand the significance or the action that occurs within any altered state of consciousness.

You hold all of your abilities now. What you seek is not within your future. What you look for is not beyond you, for what you look for and what you seek, you are, and you hold the ability to accomplish within your now.

Your creation within physical manifestation is exceptional. You have created very imaginatively.

I say to you now...”Trust yourself, know yourself.”

And I wish you well in your explorations of self.


Best Wishes


The Taoist

shivatar 02-07-2016 08:22 AM

Since i have Bi polar, it does seem like bi polar to me, but perhaps I will gift you by saying that me being bi polar makes me more likely to see it in others if its there or not.

So, you may have the bi polar eh. Well I has it toooooo. and honestly, higher states of consciousness and mania are very similar, if you access higher consciousness, and have bi polar, it will put you in a manic state, and the longer you stay in it, will keep you tied in a manic state.

The highest levels of spirituality are free from mood control, they counteract bi polar. I'm trying to say, the spiritual awakening experience common in bi polar, for me, has become what "cured" me of bi polar. What gave me enough control over self to work with bi polar, with my body, my gifts, rather than "made me normal" or alleviated it all together.

You see.... now that I have higher consciousness easily accessible, I'm basically guaranteed to stay in a heightened manic or hypo manic state at all times by western standards. The trick is to not get bogged down or attached to these words and the people who support them, often times intellectual leaders of psychology are no more developed spiritually than us, and coming to them with a spiritual awakening can be like a doctor asking his nurse to cure him. It's taking the problem to the wrong person, and believing they are more qualified than we are to deal with this problem.

These spiritual states and gifts came to you through your desire, they will come back to you in time. Have faith and continue on diligently, be wary of the dangers of mind and mood, as they are especially dangerous to someone with "what that old evil energy that is now considered bi polar". That is how I look at it, there is a new name for an old stigma, and it seems imposing because so many people believe it.

But the only persons whose belief on if madness is destructive or enlightening, is yours. and that belief will be part of what dictates if you continue upward, and take the risk of madness in pursuit of enlightenment, or fall back into lower states of consciousness only to arise again later in life or in another life. Not everyone makes it back from madness, but let me if I can, give my opinion that you are not one who will fall into madness. Rather the biggest enemy you have, is your fear that you will fall into madness because of the things that are happening to you. this fear is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So both are true, unfortunately. What is considered the highest states of consciousness can also be considered mania, the difference is mania just occurs, spirituality comes from our soul desires, and with effort, spirituality and manic like states are controllable, manageable, and their gifts available to others if we give it freely. In the past, the seers, prophets, spiritual warriors of old, they were not brought low by fear of mental illness and stigma as we are, think of all the times in the past that the divine gift has brought sweetness with it's suffering and try to find the sweetness in your suffering.


I'm sorry to hear about your sickness, the heightened state does make sickness less likely, and more painful when a big baddie gets through, so when the sickness removed your armor and fear was let back in, you fell from grace.

but that is not something to worry about, tremors come before an earthquake, and you are feeling mere tremors. Have faith in the face of fear, behind every fear is a person you want to be, and these states will come back, and be more sustained by your ability to readily perceive, accept, and deal with fear in the future.


also just to say it again, on some level it's true what they say about bi polar and stuff, but that does not negate the truth of the spiritual experience. It's only when we fumble and fall from grace, when we attach to the pleasure, and forget we are serving others with our gifts and self, seeking to make our self beautiful to inspire others, when you want it for all the right reasons your armor will never leave, because it is who you are.

The visualization of armor, the feeling of armor, that is just a physical indicator that your chakras are aligned. That you are dealing with lifes struggles head on, with courage and kindness and humility, when you feel it don't get wrapped up in the special meaning, the cool feeling of armor or seeing angels, get wrapped up in the good you do for others, and it will continue.


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