Anger during hoponopono
 

So I was doing the hoponopono meditation which is aimed at forgiving the person who did you wrong . In my case it's my mother who abused me as a child,I've been receiving messages that it's time for me to release that so I can move on. But during the meditation towards the end where I'm supposed to say I'm sorry I love you please forgive me and have our auras combined. I felt angry and I heard myself say no I don't wanna do this I wanna stop, I trie to push myself but I couldn't and I got angry.
What could this mean? I want to release this anger and unforgiveness

It sorta means that you still have some pondering to do - go more in-depth with your thinking (and feeling) on what she did...It's all about you and how you're handling things these days. I think it would help if you just calmly as you can, ponder on the memories that come to you, and not with the intention of immediate forgiveness - iow, look at them in a down to earth and practical way - how they affected you back then, and how they affect you now and what you think you can do to live with them now and in the future. What will work best for you. Take your time with it. Kind wishes to you, Donya.

It means that the time is not right yet and when the time is right you will be able to release all your hurt and anger. Give it time, keep trying but don't feel guilty when you can't fullfill your wishes, guilt is a waste of energy, you will get there :smile:

My understanding of ho'oponopono is that it is aimed at forgiving ourselves for whatever we might have done to attract any particular person or situation into our lives. It is based on the acceptance of being responsible for everything which manifests in our lives.

So perhaps you cannot forgive your mother because you have not yet forgiven yourself for whatever you might have done which caused the abuse. So perhaps focus on forgiving yourself - when you forgive yourself you will naturally forgive your mother (and everyone else).

Peace.

Forgiving doesn't mean absolving her transgressions.....You forgive for your own sake...remember that.

Maybe try leaving out the "please forgive me part".
I did hohopono with someone and it worked though it was difficult but then they are still in my life and continue their ways so I got angry with them again. The person I have a problem with is a narcisstist and will never change or admit fault in anything they do. I found it easier to cut all contact with them and then do the hohopono. Yea I know it's your mom but in the big picture here, her being your "mom" is only an illusion. (Just my opinion)
Maybe try cutting contact and then trying

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Maybe you're viewing what happened as if it requires more than thought to let go of it. Everyone has different processes to deal with grief. But in the end through therapy the solution would take time to get to that root emotion. And once you do you'll experience that feeling and be able to mentally let it go once you understand why she did what she did and why you still feel the way you do or why you're still allowing the past disturb your current natural state. So simply put by digging deeper in your root emotions and digging into why she treated you like that which will probably lead you to analyzing her parents or past relationships that led her to having the same secondary emotion she chose to manifest in you as well.

I can personally say I fully let go of the 20+ yrs of manipulation and mental abuse I received from her by realizing why she was that way. When I came to the conclusion of how she formed these habits and practices I understood her and my grandmother and grandfather a lot better. I even bounced these ideas around amongst my siblings to get feedback and comfirmstion on things I didn't see. In the process I helped one brother but the other is still holding onto the anger. Thinking that she somehow still has control of who he currently is.
By learning these things it allowed me to notice the things I picked up and allowed me to let go of them and the deeper emotions that I thought made up my identity.

My opinion is that it's okay Donya. The anger was there but probably suppressed, so it came out and you really really felt it. I think that is natural for healing of anything. Don't judge yourself harshly for feeling that. It is right that you felt it and were aware of it.
Now, the thing is not to remain in that anger but to move through it while accepting its validity and being grateful for its appearance so it can hopefully be healed.

Maybe the child in you is hurt and angry and needs care and attention, and you as the adult understand why the child is angry, and can care for her in the way she needs.

There is no need to forgive. Why should one forgive? Because other people say so? Why care about what other people say?

There is no need to not forgive. Why should one not forgive?

Relevant in terms of your attitude of forgiving or not forgiving is only what makes you feel better. forgiving or not forgiving is only relevant for your own sphere of experience.

If you feel anger it may be because you think you have to forgive because other people say so but actually you do not want to. So why care about what other people say?

However if you feel anger towards your mother this is silly because that anger does not make any deeds done undone and has only negative effects on how you feel yourself. In this case you should be more egoistic and drop that anger to feel better because it is only relevant how you feel. Otherwise the wrong deeds of your mother will hurt you continually: initially when done and then due to the anger that makes you feel bad. Wouldn't that be silly?

Also a misunderstanding is that to forgive means to love. But if one forgives one does not have to love. One may forgive but have a neutral attitude towards the person one forgives. The reverse also applies: One may not forgive but does not have to hate or feel anger because of not forgiving. One may not forgive but have a neutral attitude towards the person one does not forgive.