People Pleasing
 

I was a huge people pleaser once.
But now I realise that it is such a relief not to worry if people like you or not.
If you have no haters you probably have no one that really likes you either.
You have to be a little political and tactical to survive in the workplace. But ive always admired people who are totally transparent. Polarising figures perhaps but still

I've actually been the opposite in that I never saw the reason to please people.
The way I see it, there will always be somebody who dislikes or hates you-it's just the way of the world.

The only thing about transparent people, or those who say what they think is I've noticed a LOT of them can tell you the truth, or criticise you, or say what they think, and yet they cannot stand it, when you tell them the truth about themselves.

I used to prefer people who said what they thought-for even if it is hurtful, if they say something negative, at least you're getting the truth, however, there are so many people I've come across, who can provide feedback, and yet are terrible at receiving it.

You make some valid points Melantha

I was a huge people pleaser once too. It’s only now in later years I realize how detrimental this was to my growth.

Upon a time I very much admired bold outspoken people, while I put my own needs on the back burner. I think I thought it was my job to make them feel good, lol.
Now, I agree with Melantha. It seems that kind can dish it out but cannot take it.

I’m learning to be much more careful of where and in whom I place my trust.
Not an easy lesson for an empath, but as you say, a relief to let go.

I'm not well liked. The older i get, the more unpopular. I seem to have a habit of stepping on peoples egos. Luckily i keep to myself for the most part.

I don't think its so much that people don't like you Ocean breeze rather than they don't know how to take you.
I sometimes get the same problem people don't know how to take me, but at the same time I'm watching them as I read people.
and they don't like it so they are scared of me


Namaste

Sometimes I take it as a badge of honour to be disliked by some people. Because I don't respect their world view, why should I care what they think of me? If they did like me, I would suspect there is something wrong with me. :smile:

You haven't stepped on mine yet. Im curious how you do that now.

lol, i can see that.


People can be afraid of someone or something they don't understand. Fear can bring out the worse in people. Be careful with that.


You seem to have a good sense of humor. You should be fine.

just to reveal my technophobia, I tell you i cant do partial quotes like you have here. This must be easier than I have made it for myself. :)

I used to be a huge people pleaser! I while back I had a dream where a voice said loud and clear "What do you WANT!". I realised I didnt know what I wanted in life, I was too busy trying to keep everyone else happy.

Thanks voice, I'm well on the right track now.

I won't go so far as to say I'm completely unhinged and wear my emotions on my sleeves, but I do try to be authentic toward those I'm in contact with. Thankfully, I'm very much at peace with my surroundings.

Working in customer service for years, I've realized how imperative it is to become centered, prior to stepping in. Everyone's morning ritual is different (and many choose to forego one), and in many instances, doesn't always take place in the morning.

'Centeredness', in large part, require I square myself away and overprepare for any potential curveballs that can take place throughout the course of the day, that can throw off my center.

There is much to be learned by enlightened masters past-and-present, and I try my best to exude this calm and stoic demeanor at my base. Coating this base is my personal twist that creates individuality.

When all is said and done, my intent is to give off high, positive vibrations, and this can come effortlessly by keeping my house in order on a consistent basis, day-in and day-out.

I think all of us can attest to the fact we all encounter toxic individuals on a lower vibration -- their house oftentime in disarray -- and it can sometimes be a challenge to rearrange their setting while in their midst.

Their rearrangement can oftentime arrive just by exuding oneself's positive vibration. These positive vibrations are best coupled with high intelligence, productivity and discernment, as positivity combined with dumbfoundedness can often lead to their opportunisms.

In today's maelstrom and crossfire, it has become 'sexy' as-of-late to be non-PC. Many see this as opportunity to be completely unhinged in various systems and get away with it.

I know that if I am to receive customer service, I wouldn't want the employee completely unhinged to the extent service is lacking to any degree -- especially if I, the customer, is centered prior-to.

This isn't to say the non-PC crowd isn't productive or lacking leadership; but their example is causing others, in many instances, to create higher incidences of collateral damage, than if not.

In the end, it makes sense to work toward oneself's highest intent, but in doing such, shouldn't be means to completely let go in a fume of negativity, at the slightest agitations, during interactions -- despite how 'sexy' the mainstream makes it out to be.

Much Agreed!
 

It's really hard for me lately, too, because I feel as though I am changing spiritually, which of course affects my everyday life, and it's really throwing people for a loop. On top of that, my family is very religiously conservative, and I don't want to upset people that I love, who are a big part of my life. I feel like I'm being stretched pretty thin, trying to people please, worrying about what others *really* think.