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-   -   How to not be attracted to someone who resembles your parents (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=117993)

GalTrav 29-10-2017 12:27 AM

How to not be attracted to someone who resembles your parents
 
It's automatic. I can't help it. I am always deeply attracted and fall in love with someone who are like my parents. I don't know what to do.

Tedmil 29-10-2017 02:12 AM

You may be partially attracted to a person who resembles your parents because it may help you feel more secure. If that's the case you may be able to lessen the that type of attraction gradually over time. If the attraction is wholly hardwired then there is little you can do to change it. In that case it's light a light switch either on or off. I know several women who are attracted to guys who are like their father I guess it's common.

GalTrav 29-10-2017 04:32 AM

It was both my parents combined in one person and it was a difficult decision. I ended up leaving the person because it was too distracting and confusing. I couldn't function well not even proceed with the friendship it was too intense.

Brucely 29-10-2017 06:44 AM

Yikers. Girls do seem to go for their father types. But guys go for the exact opposite of their mothers

SpiritofZoe 29-10-2017 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brucely
Yikers. Girls do seem to go for their father types. But guys go for the exact opposite of their mothers

Really? I think I have seen them have a complex where they look for a wife/mother-to-be who is like their mom, but then they want to mess around with a wild girl/bad girl whom they would not marry an deep down don't respect her. There's kind of a split there.
Maybe it's like a split with you too, Galtrav. If a parent was neglecting or absent or mean part of the time people often look for a partner who can heal that split. The child develops a sense that they caused it - because ironically that gives them a sense of control and hope, and they can end up with a lifelong drive to repeat the relationship until they get the loving side of the parent back.

dream jo 29-10-2017 08:38 PM

yep i no
i

umbridge 25-12-2017 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalTrav
It's automatic. I can't help it. I am always deeply attracted and fall in love with someone who are like my parents. I don't know what to do.


Subconscious mind needs a quick release - both mentally and emotionally. You keep being triggered until you have cleared yourself.

girlsearching 08-01-2019 04:40 AM

I don't want anyone with similar traits or the same zodiac sign a Aries as my father. I'd rather not deal with any guy born under that sign period.

I don't have any standards cause I don't know what I'm looking for in a ideal partner yet I have not been in a relationship to know what I want. I'm in the process for the first time of being in a relationship with myself .

Altair 08-01-2019 07:49 AM

I don’t think you can initially control whom you find attractive..
What you CAN do is not act upon it any further or generate those feelings upwards through meditation.:wink:

But is it 'bad' though to fall in love with someone who resembles your parents?
Are there perhaps positive characteristics in your parents that you would like to see in others?

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlsearching
I don't want anyone with similar traits or the same zodiac sign a Aries as my father. I'd rather not deal with any guy born under that sign period.

Oh dear. You really think we're all the same just because we're born in the same month..?!:smile:

In Flux 08-01-2019 11:39 AM

Hi @GalTrav, speaking from a Buddhist perspective, you can contemplate "is a relationship with this person for my long term benefit"? Then it might be easier to ignore the attraction (that you will feel on the short term whether you like it or not :-) ).

Best regards,
Maarten


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