How Do You Parent a Dark Entity?
 

There's no "Parenting" Forum on here so I guess this one will have to do. I know there are young people floating around here who might have ideas for me. My eldest son who is about to turn 19 has been making me crazy ever since he entered puberty - challenges everything, constantly negative bringing the energy down in our home, blames me for everything... And I would like it to stop! I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!:icon_eek: :dontknow: :crybaby2: :cussing:

smile, and give him Love...i was one of those kind of kids once, but i had no one to give me Love, i had to learn It the hard way, but my advice is good, and it's also True...

Yes...you mean...turn the other cheek... they're both black and blue...easy to say, not easy to do :-(

i mean more than that actually...literally, in the name of whichever Divinity is dear to you, give him Divine Love, no need to speak outwardly if you wish...wow, he must be worse than i was, i didnt hit or smack people at all...he IS 19, if he gets out of hand and smacks or hits you, call the police, let him spend a night in the tank to think about what he's done, sometimes tough love is required, but that is for you to decide...good luck...:hug3:

Are you a single parent? What my dad did was this...ignored us. He just plain ignored us when we were moody etc.
Spiritlite.

Uma, I have 5 kids. Only the youngest has never given me grief, my son. If this son is hitting you or even gesturing in a threatening manner; he goes!!!
Sometimes in trying to be spiritual we forget to be logical and human. Lack of respect for you is the lack of respect for authority and that leads to jail or worse. Tough love is hard for both parent and kid. If you have tried other ways, which I am sure that you have, it isn't working. "definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.'
Anytime that you want to talk with someone who has been through it, please feel free.:hug3:

Uma...

It sounds like a pretty normal teen: mood swings, questioning everything, driving you crazy. Has he had a physical recently to make sure his thyroid is ok? There are a couple of really good books that might help:

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries (Robert Mackenzie)

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families (Stephen Covey)

I think that you'll find these two books as useful as I have.

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have kids :)
Spiritlite.

*ahem* he's 19? Perhaps the classified section of the newspaper with some "For Rent" ads circled might get your point across?

Wow! Just checked in... No he hasn't physically hit me. I meant that in a metaphorical way. His disrespect is all verbal - although it's pretty bad. His dad died the beginning of this year and it's been especially tough on him and he's been venting on me for a LOOOOONG time.

I'll have a look at the books. Thanks everyone for the advice.

I can honestly say I have done everything I could to parent him with love and very consciously and carefully so it would never come to this...which is why I'm flabergasted.......and convinced it's him, nature not nurture. I have to stop blaming myself. I would never have believed it without having gone through it. And it's my karma....a lesson of endurance I guess.