Help reading obstacle card
 

If asking "How can I improve M. And I's romantic relationship together?", would the obstacle card show the problem/obstacle in the relationship, or specifically what I'm struggling with which is hindering our relationship? I would think the latter, but I'm not sure how to interpret that card (as well as the advice card.... ohhhh those court cards lol).

Any take on this?
Situation: 4 of pentacles
Obstacle: King of pentacles
Advice: Knight of cups
Outcome: The Star

Thanks :)

Hmmm, maybe in regards to "Situation: 4 of pentacles", its telling you not to do anything. The person on the card is reluctant to make a move and is trying to keep the status quo.

Obstacle: King of pentacles: A male who is conservative and slow to move.
Advice: Knight of cups: hmm, a message of love or a immature person.
Outcome: The Star: There is hope.

Hmm... although he is immature in a way (impulsive more than immature), this doesn't really resonate. I also feel like the spread should be focused on me, or at least my role in the relationship given the question, and not so much on him?

Holding on too tight to your security and comfort-zone, and in that sense not taking enough action. Not showing yourself enough out of fear/insecurity and so on.

King Pents: lack of action, sticking with what is known. Giving maybe, but not emotional. (meaning you are still in your comfort-zone as you don't open your heart)

Knight Cups: open your heart, express yourself and your truth, in other words: get out of that Pents 4 situation.
This is also about movement, moving forward in a relationship. Pents 4 is as stagnant as it gets.

Maybe the cards are focused on you, if that's how you feel. But I do feel the Pents 4 is on both.
Both seem to be in this stagnant, cramped up situation, not really getting out of your comfort-zones, not showing yourself, not taking any risk (out of fear to get hurt), no one really making a move. It's trying to connect from behind your walls and shields.
Stagnant. In a way that creates a stale-mate.
Knight Cups says you gotta get into your heart and your emotions and feelings to get out of this. Movement, emotions, open up your heart.

Maybe the comfort zone is us struggling to let go of each other instead of moving on to other people/relationships? This isn't a new relationship. He keeps wanting to get back with me, and I take him back but then get really scared to get hurt again, as he's betrayed me before. I'm being very anxious and guarded. He talks about us moving back in together eventually, but I don't even wanna think about that right now. I wanna know I can count on him again before taking the next step. He isn't known to be very reliable, but maybe I'm a bit too controlling. It's hard to trust him (both his loyalty and just as a person in general, he struggles with self control, on many levels). I love him, but I'm very guarded and tempted to run off again.

Can also be moving to other people, yes. But I think it's more about you expressing yourself, your feelings. (which includes expressing not wanting this, not feeling good in this). Doesn't even mean expressing these to him per say, also to yourself. Get out of that Pents 4 situation.
Staying in this situation is not good, not helpful, and not healthy. What you do is of course up to you, stay or go, but staying in a Pents 4 situation of being cramped up and stagnant, in fear, doubt and insecurity and so on is not healthy in the long run.

Knight Cups also can mean someone is fickle, exactly like you describe he is. Today taken with you, tomorrow with someone or something else, the next day yet another person.
For you to choose if that's what you want or not, if this is how you want to live or not. If not, you will have to make a decision.

Star (hadn't seen that yesterday) says there will be healing, is a very positive card, also of hopes and of dreams coming true, moving on with day to day life things while you find inner balance and heal.
Whether this is about this relationship healing or more about you and you moving on from this relationship depends on what you asked/focused on.
I do feel it means more you healing, going on with life, finding inner balance. So in that sense you healing from this situation.

Lots of love, sounds difficult. Kind of clear as what you should do, doesn't make it easy.

I feel ' I ' might be withdrawn and not willing to take M motives seriously. Maybe keeping options and interests open. Both partner should be willing to open up. Considering Star as the outcome to the four of pentacles, the outcome shouldn't be so bad. Also finances or financial standing for one partner might be an issue for another. Some might act as a middle man or make arrangements for this two person to meet. Have you guys met through someone or have mutual friends ?

Yes, this makes sense. He's working to pay me back money he owes me. Didn't meet through other people and don't have friends in common, but he has a young son (8 years old), we have a really good connection his son and I. What would be the advice in this reading?

Btw I did a relationship reading for us (m and i) and in terms of my feelings and actions in the relationship I got 9 of swords, king of pents and 9 of wands, which makes sense given all my anxiety. For him, knight of pents, judgement and wheel of fortune. Maybe he truly is trying to become more dependable and turn his life around after all?

Thank you :)
I'm actually overly expressive of my feelings over this.... But to the point that my doubts and fears are kinda causing problems. Any tiny issue (sometimes only perceived issue, based on fears, not a real one) I dwell on and withdraw. If I'm gonna be with him I should give him a fair chance this time around, loosen up a little. Or else the same problems are gonna come back. Things actually go well between us whenever my fears don't get in the way. I over think everything when we're together. It's not good. Just not sure how to become more carefree. Even if he does succeed at changing some things, the relationship won't work if I can't start having a bit more faith. (He'll also be less likely to actually make needed changes, which he's actually working on, if he doesn't feel my support and if I'm this guarded all the time). I wanna give us a fair chance... which I haven't been doing.

Hi kindheart,

Thank you for the response. What I feel in regards to him is that his motives are clear right now, he has sincerity in his pursuit. That being said it isn't unfair for you to have your doubts and be calculated about this person, it's okay if you have your doubts but it wouldn't be too bad to open up eventually and give this person a chance. Take it slow with them and take your time with them and it won't be bad to let them in and give them a chance to prove themselves to you.

I hope this helps for now and I hope you find peace and resolution with this soon,

angelic