Brain damage or anxiety or kundalini or all?
 

Hi there,
I have been posting a lot. But ya basically a few months ago I got stuck in kundalini awakening, resisting fear and developing spiritual delusions and dissociating. Eventually I made a suicide attempt out of delusion about a month ago, hitting my frontal lobe On a log.
Since then felt so empty, felt like my soul kinda left my body, lack of empathy, racing thoughts, ungrounded. Continued to open crown chakra in meditation. Loss of ego boundaries, felt direct Christ energy, paranoia, sudden interest in fallen angels, continual insomnia and anxiety and obsessive thought loop. Fear of going crazy.
Since then I have observed a) loss of spirit and b) increased mental confusion and dissociation, and decline in memory and attention.
I saw a doctor the day after the attempt and they assessed my coordination for one minute and told me I was ok.
I just want to rule out brain damage. I have been following the principle of mind over matter for quite some time now. I am assuming that if I was more calm, and mind more balanced and loving, and soul more integrated, I would not be struggling with these cognitive setbacks
Also even tho i thought mind over matter was real, there’s all this talk about nervous system damage from erratic kundalini awakenings
Well this continuous fear I’ve had every day...I dunno how to stop the damage even with meds
My idea of a solution was a SOUL RETRIEVAL/general shamanic healing to address this underlying wounding/emptiness and I assumed everything else would fall into place
Can anyone tell me what you think.

Hi there. I have commented and given advice on this in another thread you started:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...7&postcount=19

It is difficult to tell exactly what is going on with you from what you have described and personally, according to my teachings, it sounds more like a mental health issue over one being the direct result of a Kundalini awakening, but that says nothing.

Did you also get the bliss? The peace, love and joy too? Often, a Kundalini psychosis relates to the integration of an expanded consciousness into the confines of a conditioned reality...but one always comes away from it with a heightened awareness and typically experiences sensory overload and there are more physical than mental symptoms...like the body going into seizures (kriyas), spontaneous yoga or hand gestures (mudras), feeling generalised or localized scorching heat all over the body, feeling bliss and love, but contrasted with feelings of despair, having aversions to food or music that you used to love, hearing inaudible sounds like the buzzing of bees or the tinkling of bells, feeling like the skin is burning or vibrating with electric energy, feeling very sexually aroused without any reason, feeling like the brain is being constantly zapped by electricity, seeing bright lights or fractal rainbows...feeling a connection to Source and/or everything....a lot of what you describe doesn't quite fit the picture...but that isn't discounting your experience either.

Having said that, I would recommend having a Soul Retrieval if you feel dissociated.

You need to relax and be at peace. Do mindfulness meditation once a day, if you do yoga, do vinyasa, excercise, go running. Ignore any **** around you and be positive. Eat well and see a therapist.

Hi, yes you guys are all right ... I am having quite a time accepting the way I am. Quite a time.
And yeah..I mean i do agree that it’s more a mental issue than kundalini but it did happen in the middle of a spiritual awakening. Definitely love bliss connection to God etc before it all happened. I did experience times of great love, bliss, oneness after it but that could also have been from the suicide attempts.

You who recommended soul retrieval.. recommend for split mind? (Mind with increased craving/aversion)
Interesting the person who said there is no duality..mmm .. I want to think so.. maybe it’s not super healthy of me to think of “achieving non duality” as the solution that will bring happiness

Hi! GOD that is truly horrible and tragic that you tried suicide. Do the doctor know of your fear of slipping or having slip into a psychosis? All this fear - how do you sleep? Your brain needs sleep and time to heal itself. I would go back to the doctor and explain everything because you do need help sorting this out. Best of luck to you, so sorry you have been through this and am going through this ordeal.

Aw thanks, ya doctor knows everything.... I am trying to sleep my mind is sooo active

I first experimented with kundalini energy when I was 14(im 23 right now). I read about it on the internet and went straight to open my crown chakra, without any grounding, or other preparation. I tried to force the energy upward through my head, which resulted in some kind of explosion in my head. Consequently, i felt fear, anxiety, and fatigue, most of the time, for the next 3 to 5 years. I thought i would go crazy because of all the awful emotions surging up without any reason, but i survived. My situation back then was similar to what you describe.
The problems reduced with the passage of time. Now i m fine, not blissful or ecstatic, but just alright. The solution i followed was, and still follow, is to not meditate at all. No yoga, no kundalini, no mindfulness, nothing. i just did whatever made me feel better and relaxed. I watched movies, spent time with friends, and learned to relax (That is just to let go of trying to do something, and be in state of allowing things to happen).
You should just relax. I m sure things will work out for you as well.

You need to see a therapist asap

Already am