How to 'date'.
 

Okay so this is going to come across as being very strange, so please bear with me. I have never dated. Before I got spiritually conscious, I would have 'playmates', random sex (unintended) and whatever. I had a boyfriend when I was 18 but it wasn't really anything. Other than that, I had a husband. That was an oddity. lol :cool:

It's been four years since the split and I would LOVE to date. Meet people, have fun and makeout a bit. :D But it seems to me, (and correct me if I'm wrong) that dating is: meet someone, if you're physically attracted to them, sleep with them, and if you can withstand more than two hours of their company, (and enjoy the sex) then continue. Meanwhile, until you're agreed exclusive, then you do this with as many people as possible.

Being where I am on my spiritual journey, 'dating' (as described in the above paragraph) just doesn't resonate with me in the slightest. I am hoping I'm wrong. Maybe someone out there would be so kind as to help me out here. Is this right? Is this what dating is? If not, what is it, and how should it go? Much love. :hug2: BWO

You stated that dating does not resonate with you.
Hm.. but you seem to care so much about dating. This is an oddity itself.

To date, you have to want to be with someone and you have to search for that special someone.
So, if you are not interested in being with someone, the searching(dating) probably is a big chore for you.

Before start dating, (just because you feel like it is something that you should be doing), figure out what you want out of meeting and dating others.
Remember, there are two people in a date. It is not all about you. The other person decides to give their time and energy to know you.
Every person has interesting side.
So, even there is not a romantic connection, try to enjoy in getting to know the person.

Gosh, I hope not!

I'm estranged from my husband though we're not divorced yet, but we haven't had a real marriage/partnership for several years. Once I finally move on my own this summer, I guess I would be "free" to date, but probably won't feel up to that for quite some time. Most of the time I picture myself as always being alone in the future by choice, but the "dream" of my marriage was to be sharing with my partner all of life's experiences. It just seems that beautiful experiences are more enhanced when you have the right person to share them with. So, I may want to "date" at some point, who knows...but not if it sounds like what you described! I guess I would like it to be more of sharing as friends and then have it deepen into more if that's the way it works out.

I hope the right person comes into your life now that you're feeling open and ready for that experience :smile:

Dating, as I had described, as in sleep with as many people, as quickly as possible, does not resonate. Having a fulfilling, beneficial relationship, does. Does that clarify it for you?

I know what you mean, I don't know what dating will be all about, it's been that longg. but I meet men and I think mmmm - and then mmmmm in different tones. I seen friendship and let the rest follow.

Having sex with many random people is not considered dating.
That is just 'having sex with many random people'.

You need to re-define what dating is.
Dating is about two willing people getting to know each other in order to find out many aspects of compatibilities and to feel a connection with each other.

I've been trying to date for two years now. And all I get are men who want fast sex. I want to get to know someone and find out if they are a match. Maybe cuddle a bit. That's dating to me!!

So you tell me if my perception of dating is skewed.

It is skewed.

You need to restrain yourself from the physical/sexual interaction with a man that you just met. Get to know him for at least 5 dates before doing any kind of intimate physical interaction- such as cuddling.
If he likes you and is serious about finding a long term partner, he will also wait as well.
For women, any kind of early sexual intimacy generates false 'loving feeling' because of the brain chemical release from the sexual activity.

When a man tries sexual intimacy early, you just tell him that you rather wait to get to know him better because he is so~~ special. :D

Men who just want sex are not the men you are looking for. Get rid of them quickly. To find a man it is important you do not come across as desperate as that puts men off. I know someone who kept saying, she was desperate. Be yourself. You cannot pretend to be like someone else. If they do not like you for what you are, they are not the right person for you. Have fun and not to be too serious. You need to find out what you want in a man. What is important to you. It would be good to have the something in common. Something you both like doing together. It is very important to get someone who is kind, caring and easy to get a long with. I agree with Nada. I just read her thread. Forget the cuddling. Get to know someone first. If they have a problem with it, then they are not the right person for you.

So this also means no kissing or physical interaction of any kind for the first five dates. Don't get me wrong, I don't sleep around. Most men will not give me more than one date to get to know them.