I do not understand
I hope I write this in the right topic, but I do want to share this also, maybe there are also other people here who have the same problem.
For as long as I can remember, I am feeling like there is a sadness, something to grief, something missing. Do not understand me wrong, I like a good laugh, I am friendly (sometimes too friendly and then they take advantage of me). But there is always that cloud, but why, for who or from what.:confused: I have asked myself already, is something happened in a past life, that I carry with me now. There has always been lonelyness too in my life. I think I have to learn something important in this life, but sometime I wished that I knew more so that it became easier to learn what there is to learn. |
Sometimes past life experiences can carry over. I had a painful one in my sacral chakra that involved me being shunned by everyone in my family, including my own son. I'm still not sure why but I think child abuse was involved. :(
Took me a while to feel connected with family again--even now it's hard to be near children because of it---perhaps you can seek out a psychic or even a healer that might shed some light on whatever issue you might have that's aggravating the loneliness. Just a thought. |
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Hi Sarah... I don't know if this will ring true or not, but reading your post the thought that came to mind was the notion of a need to consciously reconnect with your Soul nature/identity... This may account for the lingering feeling of 'something missing' and also the sense of grieving (as if you 'lost' your 'true self', due to presently experiencing being consciously disconnected from that state of being)... If this rings true - how to address this state/condition? Continued inner-work (introspection, self-reflection, deep contemplation)... This will fuel an drive the process of self-discovery - until you reach the point where you've found what you're looking for. : ) |
Unresolved family pain
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I always thought that I was a fun loving, happy, easy going and friendly guy but there was something wrong under the surface which could be triggered by certain events. After I discovered my buried, unhappy and very angry feelings, it all began to make sense and I could see why I was often so down, depressed and lonely thanks to an ocean of unhealed and unresolved feelings about and towards my parents. Once those bottled up, suppressed feelings came to the surface and were vented or released, much of my unhappiness and RAGE began to subside. It took a while to face and release as much of those damaged feelings as possible but I sure feel a lot better and happier now that I no longer have to go on carrying all those damaged feelings around inside of me. Much of what you wrote reminds me of my situation while I was living in Denial of what my real feelings were and it finally took seriously crashing with booze, anger and desperation to make me go look for help which I found through AA. I was a drunk but more to the point I was the Post Traumatic Stress victim of a very bad childhood and met a lot other similarly damaged folks at 12 step meetings. Once I could see how all of us had been damaged and the veil of Denial was lifted, it became quite clear what I had to do to heal from bad parenting in my case. This may or may not be the case with you so, good luck finding out what is eating you and obtaining a solution to the problem. :smile: Jim |
Maybe there is a more pragmatic explanation. Perhaps finding a Service project would add a sense of purpose and fulfilment to your life?
No matter how privileged one is in material terms, if the spirit is not engaged always there is a restlessness, as you say, 'something missing' from one's life. Also, maybe it is a longing for a soul mate? Someone on your spiritual wavelength, a pure love ... |
Like you I walked around with a sense of sadness and a sort of dead spot for most of my life that I could not quite put my finger on. I was generally happy, could smile and have fun but something was haunting me that I rather feared. I also had a similar experience as jimrich. I had a father who was critical of everything I did good and bad and as such I never developed confidence or a good sense of self as well neither parent helped me to develop good coping skills. I do believe that partly this has to do with unresolved past life issues being carried over. I do believe that we progress one life to the next taking care of unfinished business but I clearly see that my upbringing set the stage for my difficulty dealing with emotions. I managed well enough stuffing the feelings and thoughts until a life crisis caused me to crash and I had to look at my thoughts and feelings about myself. I was quite shocked and confused by what I discovered but I was also not at all surprised. The signs and clues were all there. So I would say that though it is possible some of this is past life unfinished business it is affecting your current life experience now so maybe see if you can look into meditation and mindfulness practices to spend time in self reflection to uncover the hurt and beliefs that are holding you back. I also found journaling to be a big help. Like jimrich said, it takes time to work through it but it is definitely worth it. Take care.
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Sarah007, i learned recently that there is an "emotional body"
that is a part of a humans makeup. i don't know much at all about it, but i suspect it's fundamentally more important to a persons sense of well being than their physical or mental bodies. i've come to an understanding that emotions need to move and be expressed... much in opposition to the common wisdom which seems to emphasize the importance of "controlling" emotions. movement allows the emotions to transmit the messages that they're holding and release their energy. pent up or stilted emotions lead to stress and illness. i don't know the topography of the emotional body, but from reading your post i get a sense that you may have an area of that body which gets cramped up somehow. if that were true, you might be able to get it uncramped with a little practice. set out some time (just a few minutes should do), sit comfortably, sway slightly (to encourage the movement), access unconditional love energy from your heart center, and direct it toward your emotionally cramped spots. visualize the dark/unmoving/stiff joints being bathed in loving energy. just an idea. :smile: |
Well Met
Sarah; I will tell you intuitively - there is nothing wrong on the personal level of your own individual life - its not tied directly to you individually - and neither is it an issue where you have "disconnected" or lost touch with some part of Self - my intuition here says complete opposite actually :smile: The problem is I believe - that you have as they say - woken up - or are beginning to stir and rouse the true Self. With this new Self awareness you are begininng to witness the world in all its naked truth - and yes - sorry it is this way - but indeed there is plenty here to mourn over, there will be plenty of sadness and it will feel exactly like there is a huge essential thing missing from this life. I would like to share here, two things from my mate Christ - as always He says it best - from Thomas : Quote:
We wake up to this new truth of Self, and the world becomes a dead and rotting thing in our mind - no wonder then, there is sadness and a sense of loss and tangeable grief. But please - take heart - have courage it gets much MUCH better. As He says : Quote:
Would you trust or believe me - if I said I shared the same steps on my journey and found the same problems - but push through and now - I have a peace and joy within - that is like nothing I could have imagined - Iam bulletproof in this world - so safe and secure now this world cannot affect me or bring me down low again. This "thing" that you realise is lacking ? - is on its way to you even now :wink: trust in your Self and have a little courage.. |
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Good luck, jim |
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internalizing bad feelings and accepting them as part of our makeup will lead us to lash out at undeserving targets and "innocent bystanders". identifying the true origination of those bad feelings is better. there is better still i believe. empowerment of self is what i'm driving at. choose what emotionally charged thoughts you wish to direct. to receive love, give love. to receive love only, give love only. it is possible to transform ugly feelings within into harmless or beneficial energies. with the knowledge that people are always doing the best they can, to the best degree they are capable of, with the tools they have available, the notion of directing hurtful energies towards them is untenable. forgiveness is the tool for transforming negative energies. forgiveness is an internal processing. once the energy is transmuted, then it can be directed outwardly; radiated. if a person is new to transmuting energy -- give it to God. what we are is self determined; no amount of negative energy can wrest that responsibility from us. radiate that which you are. if you choose lovingness, give love. i think this approach goes a bit further than yours jimrich. it doesn't feel possible to find a comfortable middleroad, compromise approach for me. i sorta sense that all humans are essentially pure love. to be authentic then, we'll wanna only ever express our true self. it is, of course, a choice. we can choose to be non-100% loving, but that feels "lesser" to me. |
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