Advanced Lucidity
 

Ok so lucid dreaming is something I really studied. For about three months everyday before even trying it.
For 3years I had no dreams at all and started as a way I could maybe recall them.

For 4weeks before the main attempt I drew an A on one hand and would do reality checks 5 times a day.
Then for a month nothing happend. I had a few dreams I recalled and I wrote them down to encourage this.
Then one day I was in the bathroom having a number one when I noticed my hand had a b on it I had 5 fingers looked down and had two male attributes.

At this point I knew I was dreaming and thought.. So I can fly huh?
There was a roof in the bathroom.... Flew straight through it. I was so elated I woke up at this point.

I kinda stopped at this stage from doing the checks. But I dream more often. Mainly see stuff when I'm awake though Tbh...

Anyways.

I want to lucid dream for one purpose.
And that's to talk to myself. I wanna know the guy behind my thought process.
In fact it's beyond that. I need to. I will do anything. Take anything. Even risk death to meet him. For he is has the answers I am lost without.

I know that through lucid dreaming I can make this happen. Because I will be aware and in control enough to ask for it.
The thing is.
How to lucid dream without waking up from the realisation that you did it.

There must be a better way than the A on the hand?
And I don't need the wake back to sleep method because I work nights I'm generally sleep deprived anyway and don't go into deep sleep.

Think trying to talk to yourself in a LD is up for speculation I wouldn't know what to say to that but imo it be impossible because there is only one you. You would have to in sense clone yourself but then the clone is no longer you, it takes its own path on life and because of that will experience different things and such and thus getting a different mind frame about things so it would be like talking to a brother or even a stranger about who they are how they think ect ect at least imo.

As for the A trick reality check, there is the jump check because in dreams you fly and not land back on the ground because in a dream the A can still show up and then you would still think its reality instead of a dream until you wake up.

Through the use of meditation and or helping items like crystals people have been able to make dreams and lucid dreams happen more often, more vivid and last longer. And I am sure there are other methods

By talk to myself. I mean my subconscious. And I know it's there because we all have that voice in our minds.
Theoretically in my dreams if iI shout hello. I should get a response.
Consider it insanity if you will but I have to talk to the guy behind my head. I have to. And any information I can absorb to come closer to this goal I will do.

That's where it gets ify or hazy, because its determining if our conscious and subconscious are 2 different people because they cant be the same because then its back to the idea of a clone almost.
When talking about AP people tend to say there is the physical you then there is the Astral you that is out doing things as you are conscious and awake. But then when you do AP you take control of the astral body instead of the physical at least for a time. This gives an idea that there could be another conscious or subconscious you maybe. That would be as close as I could go to that subject.
But the guy behind your head is you, I don't know what tends to go on in your head but in my head its just pictures and images that whirl by when thinking of things, I never hear any voices talking unless I talk to my self in my head but then that is still me but no one answers back unless I answer back myself but then that is still my conscious.
If your getting more voices in your head it could be split personalities or something similar maybe.
Wanting to find out who the guy in your head is sounds more like identity crisis like you don't know who you are.
In your dreams if you shout hello you could get a response from more than just possibly yourself if it were possible for such a thing, even more so if you happen to AP anything or anyone else can or will answer.
I hope I am not coming as harsh or blunt just trying to be informative and helpful with what information I know.

There is an alternative. There are two other advanced skills that together can accomplish the same thing, perhaps even better. The first is the watcher, basically you are viewing the dream rather than participate in it. The second is split or dual awareness. By combining these, you can both be in the dream fully aware and be watching the dream. The watcher has full access to the (basic) dream and its participants. Thusly you can know everything your regular dream self is thinking, feeling, etc. IF you really are motivated, this can be done while you are fully awake. You can just watch yourself going through daily life and know why you are doing what you are doing. It’s a really good way to notice habits.

Practice, practice, practice. As lucid dreaming becomes routine, it won’t wake you up any more.

Yeah right, more sleep will allow for more and better quality dreams (and probably a better life overall). If you really would do anything, then you need to get a day job or at least one that allows you to sleep fully.

How to explain this.

I know who I am. Not what. But who? Sure.

OK.
Sometimes when I write music, I do it. I know the story the words and I write them.
Other times when I'm a little lost.
My hand writes while my mind stays empty.

The only way I can explain this. Is like I leave myself cryptic messages in books lyrics songs and in my memory.
The "guy" im trying to explain. Is my egoless self. The man who knows the true path I should be taking. Because I as an ego am so permanently indecisive. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I over think everything all the time and that's not an understatement.

I'm at a stage in my life where only that man inside my head can tell me where to go. And I've ignored him for so long he stopped talking to me.
Some call him god. Others the higher self.
To me.
It's me.

To me your me. The world is me and we are the world.

(am I getting clearer or more distorted?)

I need to find myself. And he's in my mind. And my mind is... Beyond social conditioning to say the least.

The watching my dreams I have done. But I can't speak or move in those I feel trapped and flying above myself.
The duality I have only experienced in reality, where I was in and outside of my body simultaneously... To dream it though how?
Will it?

This week I actually wrote a letter to my higher self begging him to speak to me and apologising for being a close minded piece of... For the last 23years.
Its only at the start of this year any of this made itself apparent to me. And everything that's happened down to finding this online refuge is in alliance with that pure goal.

Anyway I stuck the letter on my bedroom door so I read it everyday. I'm so lost without him.

Knowing who you are is not the same as being who you are.

On the right track here.

Yes, it IS you.

It makes no sense for that man in your head to tell you anything. You ARE that man in the head. Once the you needing guidance gets out of the way, that man will simply act. You will simply act. There will be no split between you and that you.

-------------
It took a lot of ignoring to shut you away. It’s going to take some time to dig yourself out. You sound a bit desperate, that’s not helpful.

I could relate about over thinking everything but our reasons for such can be very different.
As for what you are... human and what ever that can entail.
As for finding yourself sounds more like the idea of looking inside yourself for the answer or enlightenment, from spiritual or such practices. Like you may have just forgotten who or what you are in a sense, and through some means like meditation as an example you have to look inside yourself for the answer.
AS a way to put it we are all on the path of life and some times some of us get lost or confused and we have no answer or idea what to do, and that's where some people look inside them selves for the answer if they cannot find it from some where else.
I would suggest you try meditation possible?
That is probably the extent of the idea that I think you are trying to say or what I have an idea for.

**Edit
I like Wstein's idea of the watcher I have done this many times through dreams and I have found my self quite surprised many times at what I do. Gives me interesting things to think about at times.

OK I'm going to go all in on a limb here.

In brief cause it's dark man. But I was raised Christian against my will of course in a family I hated and had an isolated dark childhood fill off suffering.

I think I believed in god then before I was 12. I use the term believe loosely.

My sister died and my family were abusive to me in all three varieties. I felt so alone. I have been from 12 to 23 a creature of my own design.
I made personalities etc to cover what I'd been though. I've figured this through regression.

But last year January something profound happened out of nowhere. I was happily drinking drugging and debting myself of the face of the earth.
I'd just met Safina who was a Muslim girl just turning 18. (im only 24...) but she plays a big role In this.


One day I had a close call with the drugs and had an obe. First time ever not a spiritual bone in my body or so I thought.
I saw ganesh in the universe all around me. Within me. Above and below me. Bigger and smaller.
He told me only this;

"we are the same you and I"

Since then I've chased it like, like spiritualism became the only drug I needed. Call it an inner calling.
Safina supported me through the whole year through everything, it's been a tough fight going from rock bottom to anything at all.

But the last time we made love. We both had an obe. She was in the universe. But for me. I saw the creation of the universe and I cried so hard when I came round in her embrace and she knew why.

I just realised that all those years I'd been so isolated and detached from not just the whole world but even myself like I was an alien on someone else's planet.
I wept tears of joy knowing that as much as my time with Safina was coming to an end. She had left me with the greatest gift of all.
God.

I felt Angry at myself initially. For locking myself up like that. For always thinking I was crazy when the truth is I'd be crazy not to listen to the thought behind the thoughts.
But I have a lot of questions only he knows the answers to.

.

I've seen the world. I know conciseness. It's a massive leap to say this but I'm rather enlightend this year.
So I need to know what to do about it.
And why i know all this or even how.

No one's ever told me. I haven't been religious. God came to me. Through that vision and through that beautiful girl.
And that's why I know.
I know the man behind my thoughts is in there. And I need him to tell me if what I'm about to do is the right path for me.
I need his courage fire love and strength. The world has taken mine.