The difference being "called" versus wanting to...
 

I am struggling with letting things go and letting them happen the way they are intended.

How do you know what is really a calling to action versus your own desire to connect? I want to reach out to my SC, but I don't want to keep chasing.

How do you know when to suppress the need to feel them, to see them? How can you tell it isn't the source telling you to reach out, or that they need you but can't voice it? When you feel signs and or worse sensations constantly reminding you of their existence and your lack of connection with them, how do you ignore it and chalk up to just missing them? How do you know which signs to act upon?

How can you ignore them calling you mentally, through dreams, through aching pulls on your heart chakra, through reminders of conversations popping up everywhere? I don't go a day without some physical reminder of my SC, but it's worse today with my heart chakra aching like I'm walking around with a hole in my chest. I just want to reach out to him, but I feel I can't or shouldn't, rather.

I'm tired of chasing. But what if he needs me...

If you're chasing the whole time then he doesn't need you... not now. Unless you want to break away from this anguish, you may just have to wait until he has need of you.

But do be careful you don't get emotionally drained if he comes back to get some kind of care from you.

You deserve joy and happiness. Distract yourself enough to break away; deliberately concentrate on things you really don't like about him. Continued anguish and hurt will do seriously emotional and spiritual damage in the end, will make forming a new relationship harder.

What wonderful caring words, thank you.

It's amazing the clarity that comes with writing it out. I guess I had to actually write it out to see the obvious answer.

But, the weird thing is, I don't really feel pain. Because while yes, I miss him, my situation is that I've never really had him. So I'm missing what could be, more likely what I imagine it could be. What I do have is this insane connection, that I can't explain, that allows me to feel him and know him.

I believe I know the path I'm meant to take. It's hard and a lot of work, but that's truly my "calling." He's not necessarily following the same path, more likely on the highway above me. I feel crazy saying this, but I know he's there with me, approving of my direction and even helping me navigate. Maybe he'll take an exit ramp one day and we'll meet. But I've got to keep going on it, rather than stalling and looking up at the highway hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

So the glorious and wonderful distraction I need is what I already know I should be doing.

There's no anguish here. Just re-revelation of what I already knew, but was ignoring.

I hate waiting...

Stop chasing, if something is meant to be it will happen.

If it isn't meant to be, nothing you do will cause that to change.

Never doubt the love is there. People are valid in taking a break, there reasons for it may hurt us. However, don't think about what you're missing out on but how amazing your connection will be once you're both ready to love each other in the way you both deserve