Do we really chose our lives before we are born?
 

I know a guy who says that we chose our lives before we are born. He says in your past life you make a choice or enter a kind of contract to determine what your next life will be. However, he says that we forget what it is when we are born but he says it's already been determined. He referred to a book called "souls journey." He is using this book as a reference for his beliefs.

So anyway, I asked him to explain my cousin who could not walk or talk(because he had CP)and died at the age of 44. He said he must have done something in a previous life where he had to accept a life that was not "normal" in the next life. I am very skeptical of all this to be honest with you. He admits that we don't remember making these decisions yet he insists that we chose it. I said how can we make decisions if a baby can't make a decision and before you are born you are younger than a baby. He said that it is your soul and your soul is transfered through your genetics and dna or something like that. So this would mean that your previous self knew who your parents were going to be. If your previous self was alive it would have been the result of different parents so then how could you transfer from one set of parents to the genetics of two completely separate parents. Please help me to understand this. Just wondering also, if anyone really believes in this. I don't believe in free will 100 percent but I don't believe in determinism 100 percent either. However, this whole idea sounds like the ultimate form of predeterminism. I can't just say out of the blue that I want to do something that I have never done before like paint or ride a motorcycle or whatever? And if I did do these things it would mean that I already made that decision before I was born. Right?

Hi

I agree with the view that we do choose our lives, our family, our lessons to ourselves and to others - and equally what they are to teach us.

It is not the baby making the decision, it is the higher self and the reincarnations are considered on how well / badly previous lives and lessons have gone.

I wouldn't want to go into all the why's as for why your cousin may have been the way he was. There can be a multitude of reasons.

It is important to differentiate your higher self from your mortal self. Your mortal self is vastly unconnected with your higher self and so you don't know the theme of lives before, nor indeed are you presented with a blue print to say "you are here and this is why".

For some people, this is revealed through various means, or if you stop to consider you spot themes of learnings. For others, they may hazard a guess at a higher good and strike lucky.

There is a line tho, I would say, as to when you cross between pre-destination and free will. There is a certain amount of free will, a large degree of choice but there are things cast in stone.

If you want to ride a motorbike - go do it. If you want to paint - go do it. I would say if you want to do these things you were born with an inclination to do it - but there presents a choice where you can pick it up or no.

And if you leave it for now and were *meant* to do it, the choices will re-present them to you over and over again.

It's a difficult one to get your head round, there are things we won't know the answers to as to why we made a choice, whether there was a choice and to accept what comes our way, look at it with wonder and awe really helps us on our way.

Yes, we choose the body and life we will be born into.

This needs to be viewed through spiritual eyes, because underneath it all is a particular lesson that soul needs to learn to acquire soul growth, which is what earthly incarnation is all about.

The more difficult the life challenge the greater the opportunity for soul growth.

Often the most beautiful souls incarnate into the most damaged bodies that they may shine more brightly....

You do not choose your next life.
This is mainly governed by the karma of your past life.
In pure light and truth.
Krishna.

imo, people like the idea that they're in control so the concept of pre-birth contracts can be quite appealing.

since time does not necessarily run in linear sequencing i, personally, don't believe in linear reincarnation so "karma" and pre-birth contracts wouldn't apply to me anyway.

Well I find it hard to believe that my cousin, who was brain damaged, was being punished for something in a previous life but according to what this guy I know said that seems to be the only explanation(based on what he believes).

So you can accept or reject what you were told. You don't need to believe it.

Sometimes, some things are beyond answer. We wrestle our brains, we look for a truth, we look for a reason, we look for a tangible, but sometimes we have to let go and accept that we can't know all the whys, the reasons, the rationales.

And there are a lot of people affected in your cousin's situation, there are the parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings. the impact is great and yet they all have a burden in such a case. And, you have been impacted.

There are, in my view, a number of reasons why a person may suffer deeply. There may be one reason, there may be several reasons why a higher self has chosen to live a difficult life of any nature.

You may find out the why, but I would urge you to focus closer to home and look for the learnings you can take for it. If your cousin chooses via his higher self to reveal why - that is one thing - but do not go prying too much as it is his stuff and we are about ourselves in this life. Sounds selfish but if you go hunting for the lesson in someone else's life, you may miss the importance for yourself - either in relation to what is going on there or going on in some other aspect.

May you find peace in your search for understanding.

Initially I had difficulty believing I would have chosen certain people and events in my life, but then realised I did. I still question my parents at times but see now I was to help them more than them help me.

You have to be ready to accept and understand- until then no books or what say will convince you otherwise.
Sometimes we do not get the answers and sometimes they are not what we want to hear either..

There are a lot of reasons why a soul might choose a life like your cousin's (or my brother's for that matter; he was born nearly deaf and with mental handicaps).

Punishment is not one of them. Punishment is a fear-based, human concept; it has nothing to do with the soul. If your acquaintance is reading the book I think he is (Michael Newton's Journey of Souls), then either his reading comprehension stinks or he's projecting his own ideas onto what he's read, or both. And it is arrogant for him to make a definitive statement about another person's soul purpose--he doesn't know why anyone else is here. He can't possibly know. He might be able to understand his own purpose, in a limited way, but that's it.

You can give people good information, and they'll still get it wrong. That's the story of every spiritual or religious movement, ever. But I digress...

That said, a soul may willingly choose a difficult life path like your cousin's for karmic reasons--and karma is not punishment. Perhaps there was something he did in another life, or maybe there has been a pattern of certain behaviors across many lives, and that has created an imbalance that hinders the soul's further growth until it is addressed. So a life path chosen for karmic reasons is chosen in order to restore balance--and it is chosen willingly, because the soul understands the need for it. It is not a punishment inflicted upon them.

Souls will also choose a life path in order to serve other souls in their own growth. We all do that for each other in each lifetime, but sometimes a soul agrees to live a short or difficult life here primarily so other souls can learn lessons and balance their own karma. They're doing their fellow souls a favor--though it may not seem like one once everyone is here, in meatsuits, with no memory of the agreement.

And sometimes a soul just wants an extreme challenge for the sake of having that intense growth experience, and there are other souls who would benefit by being part of that, so off they go.

I don't know why the soul who chose to come here and be my brother agreed to live that life. I can, however, look at the impact he has had on so many people, and how we've all had to change and become better, more humane, more compassionate people because of him. And if that's what he came here to help us learn, he's done a damned fine job of it.

A marvellous post.

The last paragraph adds an important point. The soul is advanced through Service. If you can lead people into Service...