Psychosis and Visions
 

The spiritual realm is very complicated. I once had a vision of an Arian alien humanoid. His presence felt like it made the air lead around my body. He showed me a device that was a triangle or a pyramid of fluorescent light. It was some sort of device that powered their civilization. The implication was that it was fueled by human blood and suffering. Or maybe just blood.

That was a hellish time for me, I was beset on all sides by hellish beings from another dimension. They prayed upon my greatest weakness: my own regrets. There was a woman's voice that would speak to me and command me to do things. She had a particular way of shouting, “NO!” She put me through hell, prodding at my emotional wounds and making me feel like I deserved Hell!

This is part of psychosis. One encounters beings and forces for which one has no frame of reference. One is totally unprepared to deal with these entities, so one is toyed with, like the mouse that a cat torments before devouring it. Fortunately, I haven't been devoured yet in any real sense.
For many years, I assumed that my psychotic experiences were purely a product of my brain function. That all manifestations of beings and voices were merely hallucinations, and not “real” in any sense. But then one day, something happened that made me realize that there was something more going on in all of this.

I was at my house hanging out with my friend Marcus. Marcus is an intelligent person, and also deeply in tune with spiritual forces. I was in the midst of a psychotic episode, and I was hearing voices. A voice came into my consciousness. It spoke a complex sentence, not the type of common sentence you would hear in passing, like “how are you” or “what's the weather like?” I turned to Marcus, who had a peculiar twinkling in his eye. He proceeded to repeat, word for word, the sentence I had just heard in my mind. There is an infinitely small probability that this could be a coincidence. And certainly any coincidence of that degree of strangeness merits consideration. That moment showed me that I am not “crazy,” though when I am off my meds, I am not a good fit for the current society. My unmedicated self is destined to be homeless and to find himself repeatedly incarcerated. So I take my medication, but knowing that it's not to make me sane, but rather to keep me docile enough to fit in with the mainstream.

Of course, to many in the behavioral health field, entertaining these sorts of thoughts is considered dangerous. All my experiences and beliefs about my psychosis would be seen as delusional. But I dare to hold fast in my belief. There is something greater to this human experience than flesh and blood. There are forces that cannot be seen or felt by everyone, but a few may encounter them, perhaps due to some variation in their genetics or some overpowering insistence of the soul.

I could be wrong, but deep down I know there is truth in what I believe. It's funny, because at different times I believe this more or less firmly. Sometimes I go about my business as if there is no spiritual dimension to life whatsoever. Other times, I am keenly aware of the spiritual realm, and I in fact look for signs and evidence of spirit wherever I go. Right now, I am in a more spiritual phase, and it feels good. It feels like I am connecting to something beyond myself. Some force for Good that exists in the Universe. I still haven't figured out what to call it, or what other people call it. But whatever it is, it is my Lord. And I am glad, because I've finally found something much needed to lean on.

If we are to put any faith in modern neurology and psychiatry, EVERYTHING "spiritual" or "religious" has its roots and basis in deep psychosis, or in abnormal brain chemistry, or even in grandiose narcissistic delusion (i.e. I AM God)...So they are saying "according to the scientific study of brain medicine, there is nothing other than your perception of reality"...at the same time acknowledging that human perception is totally imperfect, flawed and we can be easily fooled anyway! confusing, isn't it?

Oh and I am loving the total overuse and overreaction of the words "danger" and "dangerous" in the psuedo psycho-spiritual lexicon for the past 16 -18 months (I keep track of such things)...."don't do that because it is dangerous" (without providing any statistics to back it up). This is the modern, scientific way of saying "don't do that or you'll go to Hell"...notice the similarity of connotation?

I always have to laugh when somebody says to me "it is very dangerous to have those beliefs you hold" to which, I usually say "I LOVE danger, so should I continue to believe in what I do?"

Another thing is, that there are almost 8 billion people on earth now and over 90℅ of them would have something that the DSM-5 could point out and go "that person is mentally ill and/or delusional"...so why aren't they locking up all the "crazies" and getting them all of the streets? Well, besides the fact that no two psychiatrists will EVER agree on a diagnosis, there aren't enough hospital beds or government funding for that..and if all the insane dudes were institutionalized, the world would stop turning.

I like what you have to say! I'm sometimes torn between the materialist psychiatric perspective and the spiritual perspective on these matters. Obviously, our brains have something to do with our behavior and the structure of our personalities. Otherwise, having a brain tumor or traumatic brain injury wouldn't be so devastating.

I guess it's just part of the great mystery: What part of us is governed by the soul, and what part of us is governed by biological mechanisms?

Thank you for your thoughts!

Was diagnosed with psychosis--my experiences were very similar to yours. Wholly unprepared and unable to defend myself.

I know I am not insane though--these beings are very real. They have demonstrated such in a myriad of ways. Lucky not all beings around me desire my death/suffering.

I am not defined with anything, but can see where you point.
There is some kind of connection with something, that opens you up and makes you feel real, genuine, who you are, but that is like 1% of your time and it is very real, other time is just to pass by or you can also even suffer.

Well, those entities, sometimes they are real, but other times it is just messed up mind frame. It is interesting how mind frame can change when you are in different environment and you can see things differently. Or is it just me.

Some voices can be real, are they your creation or someone else, that is the question, but they can be read. Maybe it is just some entity that we share that allow us to hear same thoughts simultaneously. Im writing about this, because that is yasterday's experience, when i was thinking and other person spoke about the same thing, your exact words. I hate it. So i find out, that several people stole my ideas i had. That shouldn't be allowed and im working on this to prevent it.

So what i wan't to say, you had visions that were real and you had psychosis, the difference is that 1% when you are trully connected and psychosis is when you have that distant feeling, but things come to you anyway.

It is hard topic to write about, for my opinion not much is known about this jet. Hope it opens up.